HEY hey HEY

I haven't written in a while. I guess because not much has been going on on the weight loss front. I'm still at what I was about a month ago. Insulin resistance sucks!! But I do have to say I'm not behaving like the best bandster. I've gotta get my butt in gear. I tried to get another 0.25 ccs put in about a month after my unfil but it didn't work. It's like anything over 5cc is too much for me. But at 5cc I can eat more than I would like to be able to. I really wish I could tolerate 5.25cc. It seems like that would be the perfect spot, but at that point, I can't even get apple sauce down. It's so odd.

Anyway, I'm starting cosmetology school next Tuesday. I decided to throw caution to the wind and just follow my dream. I'm going down to part time at the hospital, which scares the crap out of me as far as money goes, but we can do it (I hope!) I'll be going to school Tues-Sat, and working at the hospital Saturday and Sunday nights. Whew! That's gonna suck! lol! But I can do anything for 10 months right??

On top of all that, I've been seeing a reproductive enocrinologist. I had a sonogram of my ovaries and he said they looked great for having PCOS. I then had to have an HSG done where they shoot dye into my uterus to check for blockages and I passed! Wednesday I have another ultrasound, then in a few weeks I have an endometrial biopsy. Doc says this is the "investigation" period so after this cycle I'm sure the next one is where we'll get down to business. I'm thinking he'll put me on a mild fertility drug called Clomid to help induce ovulation. I pray it works for me.

On the home front, our garden is thriving, our chickens are growing, Mike quit smoking, we just celebrated his 46th birthday on Friday... Life is good. Now if only I could eat right and exercise...

oh no!

So i'm 3 months post op, 37 pounds down and now my hair is falling out! wtf?? I take vitamins and get plenty to eat, whats the deal? I already have somewhat thin hair, i can't afford to lose any. This sucks. Has anyone had this? what should I do? I heard to take extra Zinc and I'm going to get back on my protein shakes, but other than that I'm out of ideas. Help!

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Hello0o0o!

Hey guys! Just wanted to drop in real quick and say I'm still alive! Things are going good. I've felt much better since the unfill but I'm finding that as each day goes by it seems as though I can eat more and more. Not that I'm pigging out or anything, but for instance, I got a flat bread turkey sandwich from Subway last night. It's like a pita folded like a taco with stuff in the middle. Anyway, I was able to eat the whole thing. It wasn't huge by any means but I'm not used to being able to do that, and it kind of scares me a little. I don't want to fall into bad old habits. I'm going to plan on scheduling another fill in about 2 weeks. By then, it will def be time. I only want to go in .25cc increments though. I've learned my lesson. It doesn't pay to be too tight. Screw that!

Anyhoo, I'm sure I've lost 30 pounds by now, but I haven't weighed myself for a few days. Speaking of weights, my doctors scale weighs like 2 pounds less then mine does, which I love! Because no matter what I weigh at home, I know I really weigh LESS than that! lol!

Exercise is still an issue for me. I suck at it! It's been rainy the past two weeks with highs in the low 60 so that hasn't helped in my motivation much. But this week is supposed to be NICE so I will be out burning some cals. I bought this workout dvd the night before last. It's a country workout. I've never seen a country one so I thought I'd give it a try. It's so funny, when the girl comes out, she's got on a sports bra and a mini jean skirt (the kind that fans out a little) with a giant belt buckle. lol! The majority of the time you're supposed to have your thumbs hooked on your belt in "holster hands" position! lol, it's cute.

Did anyone else get an email from a guy asking if we wanted to join some cause against obesity? He works for Allergan.

Anyhoo, it's about bedtime for me. Don't forget to treat yourself to some at home shopping at my Avon store (www.youravon.com/ashlimarlow) Right now there's a special on our brand new product called Luminocity. It's AWESOME!! It gets rid of age spots, sun spots, acne spots, rosasia, it evens skin tones and brightens skin. It also takes away fine lines. when you buy it now, you'll get a full size container of Anew Eye Lift ($28) for FREE!! I'm using both these products and love them! It's never too early or too late to start a skin care regiman!

Goodnight all!

I feel good, dun nuh na nuh na nuh na, like I knew that I would now!..

I got my unfill today. The doctor and I agreed that 0.25cc was how much he was going to take out. Once he got in there however, he said that the fluid "jumped" into the syringe without having to be sucked out, meaning I was too tight (duh). SO, he decided to go ahead and take out a half cc. I have to tell you, I FEEL GREAT!! I'm so glad to be back to normal!! I came home and ate and didn't have pain, didn't get stuck, it was beautiful!!!

Anyhoo, I've signed up to be an AVON representative. I'm going to share my eStore link with you guys if you'd like to do a little shopping. Right now we have our Glazewear Lip gloss (#1 lip gloss in the country) on sale for just $1.99 (reg. $6) and for every tube you buy you can enter to win a brand new Chevy Malibu! So check out my store, let me know if you have any questions. :)

Ashli's AVON eStore

Also, if you would like to receive an online catalog via email you can send me an email and I'll add you to my list or just register on my eStore site and subscribe.

Bedtime for me! TTYL :)

Enough is Enough

So I'm scheduled for an unfill today. I'm going to have a half cc taken out I think. I'm not getting enough protein in and I find myself relying on slider foods because good wholesome foods are too hard to eat. Whenever I try to eat something real I get stuck 1 or 2 bites in no matter how good I chew. It's ridiculous. On mother's day we had dinner at my mom's and it took me an hour and a half to eat and that was without eating the meat because I couldn't and I pb'd twice. Awhile after dinner I got some dessert and it took me all of 10 mins to get it down. UGH!! I can eat bad things sooo easy. My thought process on all this was that I knew I was a little too tight, but that I'd probably just lose weight faster and it would loosen up on it's own. NOT! Since I have to eat unhealthy things to even be able to eat, I'm not losing any faster than I was before. So why suffer?? I'm going to have a little unfil and I can't wait to start eating protein again and not get stuck on my first bite.

I found a great snack yesterday. It's a cracker made by WASA and it's light rye. It's made with 100% whole grains and has 3g fiber, zero fat and only 60 calories for 2 big crackers. They're the size of graham crackers so 2 is plenty. I just had them for breakfast with some laughing cow cheese. I was pleasantly surprised it went down nicely and was yummy to boot!

First 5K....check.

I walked my first 5K today. It was great. Too bad it was so cold (50 F) and windy but at least it was sunny. We finished in 55 mins. I only fell once! LOL! I'm notorious for falling. It's a gift. Can't wait to do another one!

Total Ramble

So a day or two after my 3rd fill, my immense tightness dissipated a little bit. Drinking is not a problem and I can even chug if I want to. As far as eating is concerned, I have to take it VERY slow and be extra careful. I don't really think that I'm too tight (well maybe a tiny smidge) but this is all a new feeling to me. Before this fill, I became full sooner but could still eat somewhat normally. Now I understand why some of you post that you had a HALF a protein bar for breakfast or just ONE egg. I get it now. I think this is how its supposed to be. I believe I'm at my sweet spot (for now). I was experiencing some heartburn for the first few days after the fill but that is gone thank goodness. The day before yesterday begin my TOM and I definitely noticed a difference in the tightness. I went back to being too tight. The only thing I was able to eat all day and KEEP DOWN was m&m's and mashed potatoes. I had WAY too many m&m's and about a half cup of potatoes. The next day I had an Easy Mac bowl and protein shakes. Today has been better. I was able to eat good, except when we went out to for Cinco De Mayo. I ordered a lunch size chimichanga (chicken). It was all juicy an delicious and I took 2 small bites and chewed super good but it wasn't going down well. I had to stop. You get to a point where it just pisses you off. You just want to EAT!! My all day PB fest the other day pissed me off too. I was just angry about it. It wastes my time. I can't do anything or concentrate on anything when I'm in the middle of stuckville. It sucks. I had to go into an important meeting at work that day while being stuck and I pb'd in the car on the way (I guess it was more like sliming, I just hate that word) and before the meeting and I still wasn't clear so I had to talk to these ppl feeling like crap. To make matters worse, my throat was making the occasional sound, like tiny bubbles coming up as my food went down. It was a bad day. But TOM will be over soon and hopefully that will be the end of the issues. If not, I'll go in for a slight unfill, but I really think it will be ok. Being this tight takes the fun out of eating lol! Which I guess is kinda good. I can't mindlessly shove food in my face. I just can't, it won't go! I have to be slow and take my time. However I did find a very yummy treat today and it went down with ease. Chocolate Peanut Butter Bugles. OMG, SOOOOOO gooooood!! But sooooo bad cuz you can't just eat one. Do any of you use your TOM as a pass to eat yummy treats?? I think I'm totally guilty of it, and I need to work on that. I know it's ok to indulge every once in awhile but not three days in a row! I understand what people have said about when you're too tight you'll turn to slider food. Candy really does go down great...booo!! Stupid candy!

Tomorrow I plan on drinking an ass load of water and packing a good nutritious lunch for work, no sweets!!

Compare Me!

Hello Ladies!! Well, today I am officially 25 pounds down. I decided to take some pics. So here's me today (right) and me 6 weeks ago (left)

I'm Super Tight (note: don't say that too loud in public, you'll get weird looks)

Hey guys! So I just got back from the doctors office, getting my 3rd fill. I had restriction prior, but I could still eat a good amount of food and stuff so when he asked me how much I wanted, I wasn't sure whether I should go with a half cc or a full cc. I asked his opinion and he basically said, "I don't know, it's whatever you want" So we went with the full cc. I'm a little nervous about it. I hope I'm not too tight. You guys will have to tell me what you think. When I take a drink, I feel a little pressure, then an air bubble comes up and I feel better. I burped a few times and the tiniest bits of water came back up with it (hasn't happened for a few hours now) Do you think I'm too tight or is it pretty normal to feel weird like this right after? I'm a worry wart and my doctor flat out told me he won't drive back in to unfill me tonight (not that I would expect him to) But he said I could come back in the morning if I had to. Im at 5.5ccss now. I'm excited that I might be at my sweet spot on so little fluid. We'll see. I'm gonna do all liquids tonight (like I'm supposed to) because I'm scared to even try anything. I don't know why I feel terrified, I've PB'd before but I guess it's just the new level of tightness that I'm not used to and it makes me nervous. I'm sure it'll be just fine.

And a sad, crappy note.. I won't be joining you all in the Chicago trip due to a mandatory class at work I must attend. :(

Can someone tell me about these gadgets that you wear that tell you about calories burned and whatnot. How do they work, DO they work, which would you recommend, how much are they?? TIA!

This cracked me up! Thought I'd share.

Late Night Blab

I was reading a blog that I am newly following (stardusticsjourney.blogspot.com) and she had a very interesting article on there about "starvation mode" I'll have to admit, I thought it existed. I've been eating about 1200 calories a day and I'm not really losing much weight. I thought cutting out any more calories would make it worse, but after reading that, I'm thinking that's what I need to do. So starting tomorrow, I think I'm going to cut it back to 1000/day. At least until I get a regular exercise regimen going. We'll see how it goes. I think my next fill is going to be May 5th or May 14th. I haven't decided yet. I'll decide by Monday and give them a call. That should help too. I'm doing much better with this 2nd fill compared to the first one but I think I can still eat more that I should. Like for instance, tonight, Mike brought home a thin crust chicken, spinich and artichoke pizza (We hadn't ate all day, and I hadn't felt good, so we wanted something easy). I was able to eat 2 pieces and probably could have ate 3 if I wanted to, but didn't. When you're at your sweet spot, should you be able to do that?? I'm thinking I just need a 1/2cc or so more. I do have to say I'm getting a lot more used to band life. At first, it seemed that I was somewhat resistant. What I mean is, I didn't want to take the bun off my burgers and the thought of not being able to eat EVERYTHING on my plate, or finish that last bite made me irritable. But now, my brain has finally wrapped around it all and everyday gets easier. It's becoming routine. I'm glad. :)

Look what I can do!

Check out my new siggy! YAY! Thanks Gilly!

Today was a total bust

Last night, I made my hubby a cake.  Right after I got it out of the oven I got really tired and just wanted to go to bed.  (without a piece of cake first!) and as soon as I got in bed, I started getting the chills.  The, "I can't get warm no matter what", chills.  I took my temp and I had a fever.  The fever lasted all night long. I woke up today feeling much better.  I slept for 14 hours! (Whhaat??)  No fever today.  I wonder what that was all about?  Anybody ever have a random fever for no damn reason? 

Well, that "random" fever totally ruined all my plans for the day.  I was supposed to do the MS walk, go to the brew fest and go to my friends birthday bbq.  Missed it all.  :(  Anyway, I'm hoping the fever stays away and I can enjoy the next two days I have off.  I drank a couple of those airborne tablet things in hopes to ward off any impending sickness.

So I decided to ask my mom to go to Chicago.  I thought about it long and hard and I don't believe I'm bringing her so that I can hide behind her.  That's just not me.  I'm bringing her because she's one of my best friends and I think this trip is going to be so much fun with so many good people that I want to share it with her.  I think it will be a great bonding experience and very memorable.

Anyways... Can somebody tell me how to get one of those cool signatures to sign all my posts with?  I like the ones that actually look like handwriting.  TIA!

BYOC! <----I just found out what that stood for lol! I've been so confused!

1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.

I watch Lock Up and I agree with Drazel, working anywhere in a prison would not be something I'd ever want to do. Kudos to your hubby. Also, I'd never want to be a nurses aide. I work closely with many of them and they have to deal with a lot of CRAP, literally. Kudos to them too!

2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?

My sweet little pom pom, Mocha!

3. What do you hide behind?

I've never admitted this before, but I hide behind the fact that I have PCOS. Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I've always blamed my weight on this, my moods on this, my inability to get pregnant on this... In reality, it DOES play a HUGE part in all of these things. BUT, I didn't help the situation by eating the wrong things and not being active enough. I didn't help the situation by letting my hormones ruin my day or letting all of the negative pregnancy test make me feel like a failure. I have to power to change and choose to be happy and make the most of things. I can't let a a 4 letter acronym run my life anymore.

4. Where were you born?

Kansas City, Missouri

5. Which comment affected you the most this week.

Well, I know this may sound stupid, but Drazel commented on my blog asking if I was going to Chicago and that I should totally come. I know we didn't need a personal invitation but it felt good to have someone care if I was there or not. Thanks Draz!


*Isn't it amazing how honest we are in our blogs? It's great that we can all be so open and feel comfortable in doing so. If only in "real life" we could all be so free*

Onto a different note...is anyone bringing anyone with them to Chicago? Like a friend from home? I was thinking of asking my mom to come. We've never had a mother/daughter trip and she's battled with her weight as well. She's super fun!! Would that be weird if she came? I doubt she'll be able to but I'd like to ask. What do you think? Give me honest answers, I don't want to mess anything up.

Our MS walk is tomorrow. I wish we would have known about it sooner so we could have fund raised a little bit. Registration for this thing is so confusing. Not to mention the donation part. It's crazy confusing. I think we're just going to show up tomorrow and say, "we want to walk today, here's our donation, what do we need to fill out" I doubt they'll turn us away. It's supposed to rain. I hope it doesn't.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Under Construction!

Excuse the mess, I'm trying to find a new look for my blog :)

~Chicago~

So, I slacked off on blog reading for like a week, and when I came back there's all this Chicago talk. Draz asked if I was going and I started to think about it. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I've always been a bit shy. Now, don't get me wrong, I open up and then there's no stopping me lol! But I've always let that initial shyness/fear hold me back. I think a ton of it has to do with me being overweight my whole life. It started as a kid and has followed me into adulthood. But anyway, I think that this would be a great opportunity to do something out of my comfort zone and just go for it! If not now, WHEN?? So, I think I'm gonna come! I'm totally out of the loop so I'm gonna need to do some reading to get the when, where and what's. It's so easy to get behind in blog land when you miss a few days lol!

OMG, I'm getting ExCiTed!!

I finally broke

my 261 plateau! I weighed 259 the last two days, bringing my total weightloss to 23.1 lbs. Yay! However, I probably just ruined that tonight. I finished off my day at 1658 calories. Boooooo! What got me was the Dunkin Donuts someone brought in. I tried to resist. I truley did, but then I got tired and bored and I began hearing the call of the beast. "Eaaaaat meeeeee" they called from the breakroom. Nasty little devils. I ended up eating 2. Yes 2! Why couldn't I have stopped at 1? I don't know. So after I ate them, I went to my calorie counter and learned the extent of the damage. 700 Calories for those 2 donuts. Yep, 700. Anyway, all I can do is move on.

Saturday morning, Mike and I will be participating in a walk for MS. We learned that it happens to be starting right across the street from our house. How conveinient. I'm not sure how long it is, but I read on their website that they typically have a short and a long walk. The short is 2-4 miles and the long is 4-6 miles. I don't know which one we'll do, but I'm thinking 4-6 miles is a little much for me at this point. I'm a little disappointed that I won't be getting a t-shirt to remember this walk by but you have to donate $100 to get one. Isn't that crazy? I plan on donating, but not quite $100.

Saturday afternoon, we are going to a beer fest, lol! I've never been to such a thing, but I thought it would be fun. My husband likes weird, dark beers so we're gonna check it out. I guess you pay about $10 to get in, and they give you a cup and you go around sampling all kinds of beers from around the world. Like a wine tasting, but with a little redneck added lol!

So, I'm still struggling to get a structured exercise regiman going but a few days ago Mike and I took the dogs on a 1.5 mile walk around our neighborhood. I got this really cool app on my phone that tracks you via GPS and tells you how far you've gone, how many mins you've walked and how many calories you've burned. It even tracks your path on a google map. It's awesome. Technology these days.

I started to get my summer tan on. Being tan makes me feel thinner, isn't that weird. I guess it just tones down those glaring white fat rolls, lmao! Brown fat rolls are much more soothing :P

That's all for now, I'll try and take some pics of this weekend's festivities. Ciao!

2nd Fill

Hey guys! Well I had my 2nd fill yesterday. There was no student this time but it wasn't any better. The doctor had troubles. OMG it hurt sooooo bad!! Took 4 pokes or so and a lot of prodding. I was so glad when it was over. He gave me 1.5 ccs. So now I have a total of 4.5ccs. All yesterday was liquids/mushies so I was eager to "try out" my fill today. We went to Bob Evans. We decided to share a turkey wrap. I was able to slo0o0ly eat almost my whole half (it was very loosely stuffed). I was satisfied. :) Then, about 3.5 hours later, I was starving. So when we got home from shopping, I heated up some chili I made the other day. I made myself about 1 cup. I got most of it down, but took about 2 bites too much I guess, cuz I was stuck. Blahhhhhh! I pb'd like 5 times. Nothing violent but annoying none the less. The first few times it was actually food, the other times it was just saliva I guess (but thicker, sorry tmi) It's different because I don't actually feel totally FULL before the pressure in my chest starts. I could feel it a little bit when I was eating my turkey wrap but I knew I didn't feel FULL yet. I just wasn't hungry anymore. I started to feel a little chest pressure so I took that as time to stop. I guess I've always ate till my stomach felt like it was gonna pop and that's just not whats supposed to happen anymore. Anyway, this is definitely a learning process. I know now that when I feel a little chest pressure, better stop. Something else I've noticed with this fill is that when I eat, it seems like with every bite, little air bubbles come up. Like, food goes down, air comes up. Weird. But I'm happy. I actually feel like I might get somewhere with this fill. It's exciting.

Anyway, Mike and I went on a big shopping spree today. The fan in our bedroom died so we had to buy a new one. We've been wanting a fan in our livingroom for awhile, so we bought one for it too. We're currently trying to put it up...but of coarse, we're running into problems. Mike's off to the hardware store for the second time already. We also bought a carpet cleaner (dogs can be so messy), took us 3 different Wal-Marts to find the right one. Then we bought paint to do our bathroom, along with the rugs and towels. We own a 100 year old farm house and completely remodeled it (basically built a new house within a old house, not a fun project, never will do that again!). We still have lots to do, and painting is a big one on the list. If I had the energy, I'd load some house before and after pics for you, but I don't. Some other time. I picked a seafoam blue color. The original one I liked wouldn't work for the type of paint Mike wanted. So I had to compromise with one close, but a little lighter. Hope it doesn't look stupid. We had to buy this special paint with no VOC's (I don't know what that is) but they're bad for you. I guess paint can leak chemicals into your house for up to 6 years and Mike wants a "healthy house". So alright then, healthy paint it is. I saw this commercial for this painter's tape called Frogger. It's supposed to be awesome and make super crisp lines (no bleeding). Cost me $8 for one roll! CrAzY! So that will be on the list of things to do tomorrow. Mike has to work tomorrow night so it'll be a good project for me to do. Well, I've rambled long enough. TTYL :)

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm...

Quick question. How many calories do you aim to comsume on a daily basis? I've used those calculators online but it tells me I should eat at least 2080 (based on my current weight/age/height) for "extreme weight loss". Does that sound right? It sounds like a lot if you're wanting to loose weight. I also read that consuming less than 1500 is not good for you. I've been aiming for 1200 but now I'm thinking I should up it a little bit. What do you guys think?? I'm not really loosing much as of right now. I've been getting 1200-1500 cals a day which is way less than pre band but I've just been juggling the same 4 pounds since surgery. I'm between 265 and 261. So, since surgery, almost a month ago, I've only lost between 3-7 pounds. I'm not frustrated YET. I'm excited for my fill on Wednesday! So tell me your daily calorie goal..

Random Picture Day!

Hello all! I don't really have anything important to say really, but thought I'd drop a line. I haven't exercised in the past few days cuz I'm LAME! I have been keeping track of my food intake so that's a plus. I work all this weekend so I won't have time for much over the next three days. I work 3 12's in a row so once I get off work and get home I have about 8 hours till I have to get up and do it all over again. Next week I have off Monday, Tuesday and then have a four day weekend! Woohoo! I get my fill Wednesday. I'm excited about that. My port burning sensation or PBS as I like to call it (lol jk) has improved. Haven't felt the burn since Tuesday. YAY!

So, since I bored you with the last paragraph, I thought I'd entertain you with some random pictures!!

This is my house

Another spring storm rollin in

My doggies

My miracle kitty, Bella and me.

Our chicks

Look how they've grown in just a few weeks!

Playing with a few chicks yesterday. Not a good idea to let them on our carpet, the two of them pooped 2 times each in the 5 mins we had them in the livingroom. Little shits!!

Me and my BFF "working hard"

My awesome new water bottle! That little spout, is a straw! Luv it!

And for the grand finale......drum ro0o0o0o0o0oll....


My sweet and sour chicken from a local place here in KC (pre-band)


Have a great weekend!

I'm wearin my happy pants!

The past few days have been great!  Monday, Mike and I went to the gym.  I did 25 mins on the eliptical and then we walked a few laps around the little gym track.  We then went swimming for a bit and topped it off with a little hot tubbing. 

I've been tracking my food with an app on my phone.  I have Android technology on my cell phone and the app is called Calorie Counter.  It's pretty cool.  It even has a barcode scanner, where I can scan the barcode of the food I'm eating and it will input it right into my food diary.  Very handy.  I also have an iTouch and I used to use the app called Tap n Track.  I like that one better but it doesn't have the bar code scanner. 

Today, I did tons of house work and then did 20 mins on my treadmill.  Mike started P90X today.  It kicked his butt. I want to do some of the workouts with him.  Maybe tomorrow.  Mike's blog  <----here's a link to his blog.  Check it out!  He needs some blog buddies too!

I weighed in today, I'm down 20 pounds!  :-)  My 2nd fill is scheduled for next Wednesday (4/14/10). 

The weather has been pretty stormy lately.  Spring is coming in like a lion, but hey, at least it's comin in!! 


Does anybody take frozen dinners to work for your lunch??  I do.  I recently discovered Kashi's frozen dinners.  They are a little more pricey than the Smart Ones I usually get, but they are totally worth it.  Each entray has almost 20 grams of protein.  20 grams!!  Also, they're packed with fiber and whole grains.  Sounds like the perfect bandster food to me!  I'm currently enjoying


Ok so that came out huge, but I don't have the energy to fix it.  Well, better get back to work.  6 hours left, then it's 2 more days off with the hubs.  YAY!

Knock knock! Who's There? BAND

My band made it's first appearance yesterday.  We went out to eat with my bff (who I'm happy to say is back in my life :)  We went to 54th street.  I got a toasted turkey sandwich with fries.  I had 1/4 of the sandwich (a half of a half) and a few fries.  I was full everything was fine.  Later that night, I decided to reheat my food.  I was not paying attention and I ate a couple of fries rather quickly then a bit of my sandwich (all of this was pretty dried out. you know how reheated food gets.)  I suddenly felt that something wasn't right.  It wasn't painful, but there was pressure.  Like I had a HUGE burp that needed to come out but couldn't.  I started pacing around...then went in the bathroom.  I felt the need to spit a lot, like I couldn't swallow it.  I then pb'd a little bit.  It was nothing terrible...it was exactly that, a productive burp. It wasn't like throwing up at all.  I did not feel relief from it.  My husband was outside, so I went out there and paced around and stretched my arms up and stuff.  It eventually passed.  I wouldn't say it was a horrifying experience as I know they can be way worse.  But it was an eye opener and a nice "hello" from my band lol.  At least I know it's there now :P  We went to my grandma's today for Easter and I was able to eat a 2x2 piece of lasagna, a small spinach salad, and a few noodles of pasta salad.  I had a piece of garlic bread but only ate a small bite and gave it away.  About an hour later I had some dessert too.  I can tell I get full faster now, but I don't stay full for long.  Tomorrow, Mike and I are hitting the gym.  I'm officially going to start exercising this week.  Oh ya, I wanted to ask you guys.  Since my fill, I can tell exactly where my port is (the area) where as before I wasn't sure where exactly it was.  The reason I know, is because it burns periodically.  I never had this before the fill.  I makes me worry (I'm a worrier) that the doctor dislodged it or something.  He was so aggressive when he was looking for it.  Really digging around.  I guess if he would have ripped the stitches out in there, I probably would have felt pain.  It was really only discomfort that I felt.

Anyway, we had a major storm the other day.  It only last for a few minutes I guess (I was asleep with earplugs, didn't hear a thing).  I walked outside to leave for a hair appointment and this is what I saw...





Our grill was on it's head too.  Broke the damn knob off.  Arg!!  We're under another tornado watch now.  It's starting to look a bit ugly outside.  I just hope it doesn't hail or that another tree limb doesn't fall.  Especially not on our house.

Happy Easter Everyone!  Oh speaking of Easter, I came downstairs this morning to find Mike's stupid dog had eaten all the Easter chocolate out of the candy bowl.  Foil and ALL!!!  What an idiot.  That was almost 12 hours ago and she's fine so far.  Let's hope it stays that way.  I guess it's good that it's gone now and I can't eat any LOL!

...

I think this horrible period I'm having is causing me to be highly irritable. Not fun. Hopefully it is over soon so I can get back to myself. Also I wanted to note that my posts may seem irrational at times but this is a place for me to put my inner most thoughts no matter how stupid or whiny. I know this process takes time, i know all of this. I also know its not magic but this is my place to vent so when I feel like pouting i'll come here. So anyway, I just got my hair cut and I have the next 4 days off so I'm pretty excited about that :)

Hungry Hungry Hippo!

Ok, so I know I just got this fill but I can tell that I'm going to feel NO restriction from it.  I know my body and I just know I feel nothing.  Matter a fact, I'm STARVING.  I even ate a PB&J earlier with no problem and was hungry again an hour later.  I pretty much didn't expect my first fill to do anything for me...but it's still kind of disappointing.  My doctor said I can come back in 2-4 weeks for a second fill.  I'd like to call tomorrow and make my two week appointment but I know they'd be like, WTH?  You just got one YESTERDAY!  I don't want to wait until two weeks, THEN call cuz what if they can't get me in for awhile.  I think I'll just wait for the weekend to pass and call them Monday.  Wonder how aggresive he'll be with my 2nd one.  I want 3 more.  Cuz I feel nothing.  But I doubt he'll give that much.  I really hope I'm not one of those people that requires a ton of fluid.  That would suck.  Can everybody tell me how many cc's you had where you felt it was your sweet spot?? My doctor says he rarely sees people with double digits.  He said 5-9cc is the most common.  I know patience is a virtue....BUT I DON'T LIKE PATIENCE!!  ;-P

Poke Poke Poke

Alright so I survived my fill.  The doctor walked in and following him was a student.  I laid down and the student doctor began to put gloves on and stuff.  I looked up at my docter and said, "is he doing it?" and he said yes.  OMG!  I was already freaked out but now I was scared to death!  My hands were sweating and I was gripping the sides of the table.  My doctor picked up my hand and held it while student boy proceeded to stick me 3 to 4 times.  It didn't really hurt all that much.  My skin around my incision is kind of numb still from surgery so that helped.  He didn't end up getting the job done, so my doctor gloved up and stuck me.  He was a lot more aggressive in feeling around while the needle was in and it felt super weird.  Like I had plastic toys in my belly clanking around.  It was crazy but he got it with that one stick.  He gave me 3 cc's.  I got up and I sipped on some water.  No problems.  I'm supposed to be on liquids for a day or two.  I'm sick of my protein powder so I bought some Atkins shakes.  I also got a few Cambell's Soup at Hand.  Creamy chicken and tomato.  I have to work tonight so I figured that would be the easiest thing.  I felt hungry when I got home so I had a shake.  I was kind of disappointed that I was already hungry.  But I know this is a process and its going to take time to get it right.  I shouldn't take that as a sign that I'm not going to feel anything from this 3 cc's.  My stomach is empty and so is my little pouch...so why wouldn't I feel hungry right??  Anyway, my doctor said I can come back in 2 weeks if I need to. 

Filler up!

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.



WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD !!


I get my first fill tomorrow hopefully! My appointment is at 9:45 am.  I don't have much to report.  I can eat pretty much like before surgery (not that I am) but I feel normal, like I never had anything done.  So I'm excited for my fill.  I'm ready to see the scale move down!  The weather here is fabulous, so I'm eager to get outside and exercise also.  It's 80 degrees!!  Love it!

The Early Visitor

I don't have much to report as I've just been working the past couple of days.  I do have an intersting thing to share though.  So the past few days I've had some minor menstral cramps.  I blew them off cuz I'm only on cycle day 20 and I  NEVER get my period early.  Never have I ever.  So, I go use the restroom...and I've started.  I decided to do some research and I found out that estrogen is stored in body fat.  When you lose body fat rapidly, it dumps that estrogen into your blood stream and that can cause your periods to be wonky.  I thought that was interesting.  Any of you have similar experiences??

Quickie

So, I just did 30 mins on the treadmill!  I feel so much better :)  The cable cord to our tv  by the treadmill is off at the moment and so I read a book while walking and time flew by.  Way faster than when I watch tv.  Hmmm..  I wasn't walking super fast though so that may be why it seemed easier. 

Sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs much.  Lately I've been reading them using an app on my iPod and I don't think you can comment using it.  Or else I just have figured it out yet.  But I read them everyday and think you guys are great.  Thank you for your continued support.

Ok, that's all for now.

I hate thinking of titles sometimes, and today's one of them days.

So, since surgery I'd been feeling a little restriction I think.  I'd get full after about a cup of food.  I'd get hungry again about 2 hours later though.  Well, I think that vanished today.  I'm assuming that's pretty normal since it's probably just from swelling.  It sucks though.  I feel like I want to snack and eat out of boredom again just like before surgery.  I had 1300 calories today.  Which I know is  fine and around what I should be eating but that feels like a ton.  Up until today, I was a little worried about what my fill would do to me considering I was getting full on one cup but now I'm ready!  I want it and need it.  Luckily I only have 6 more days until my appointment.  Hopefully it goes well, and doesn't hurt like a bitch.  With my luck, it will hurt like a bitch, lol.  I feel sorry for people that have to wait 6 weeks.  Man, that would suck!  I'd probably gain weight back for sure if I had to wait that long.

Anyway, I didn't do the treadmill today.  I just don't feel motivated.  I don't know why?  I got what I wanted, I have the Lapband now and I still feel blah.  I think its because the weather is still gray and crappy and my husband and I have been on opposite schedules for 2 weeks.  It just really bums me out.

Feeling pretty good

So my first night back to work was not so good.  For some damn reason I couldn't sleep before work.  I had been up all night (I work nights) and then that morning when it was time to go to bed, I couldn't.  SO I went into work having already been up for 18 hours.  I couldn't call in because I had my yearly evaluation with my boss at 5pm.  Plus, my husband was the one on call and he hadn't slept either.  So I was screwed.  Anyway, I went in and we were of coarse busy.  I kinda guess that was a good thing, as it kept me awake but I was so sore and grumpy.  Luckily we had a third person coming in at 11pm so I was able to go home after that.  I ended up going to bed after being up for amost 30 hours.  YUCK!

My second night back was much better.  I was fully rested and in a cheerful mood.  The only thing that really gets sore now is my port area.  It feels like it's tugging and pulling a lot.  It's weird.  I wonder how easy it is to accidentally flip a port.  Bending over is still a challange.  Most of our meds are in the bottom drawer of the of the Pixis here at work and if nobody is around to help me, it's quite the show.  I shimmy down the wall and hold onto the door handle then grab my meds and pull myself back up lol!  Good leg workout too lol!

My lower abdominal pain has gone away completely, like I said, just port discomfort now.  It got me thinking.  I'm due for a fill in 7 days.  It's gonna be interesting when he's feeling around on my belly looking for the port.  I think it's going to hurt, and I've heard he doesn't use any numbing stuff.  Idk, we'll see.

As far as my water consumption, since I've returned to work, it's gotten better, but I'm still not up to to the amount I should be drinking.  I WILL get better though.  I know how important it is.  Another thing I'm sucking at is drinking protein shakes.  UGH!  I don't want any!!! 

I haven't exercised yet, but I think I will start very soon.  Maybe today.  I'm just going to walk on my treadmill if anything.  Nothing too crazy.  I weighed my self finally and I've lost 2.5 pound since surgery.  I'm down 16.6 pounds as of yesterday.  :)

Well, it's bedtime for me.  Nighty night.

Back to Work

I always seem to want to start my blogs out with "so," or "well,"  I need to find better intros lol.  Anyway, today was day 7 and I had mashed potatoes!!!  So yummy!  I've found these little packets that have 80 calorie servings and they're so yummy.  They have all different flavors.  I think they're by Betty Crocker.  I also had some refried beans today.  I put a touch of sour cream and some Spanish Gardens sauce on them too.  HEAVEN!! 

I return to work tomorrow (well, technically tonight since it is now 3:55am on Tuesday)  It's going to be a little rough because I am still pretty sore and it's very hard for me to bend over without pain in my port area.  Let's hope I don't drop anything! 

I am a bit excited about it only because I'm ready to get back to the real world and start doing things the way they should be done.  Like a routine I should say.  The past 7 days I've just been lounging and eating and drinking when I feel like it etc.  When I go to work, I will pack my lunch and bring my water and I'll feel better being back on a schedule. 

I have been a total slacker in the water drinking department so I'm ready to jump back on that band wagon tomorrow.  I'm going to weigh in tomorrow, since my new routine starts then.  I wonder what I'll weigh.  I hope I haven't gained too much.  But if so, oh well.  This past week doesn't count.

Do you remember when you first had surgery how your muscles under your incisions were super sore?  Like when you went to lay down or get up it hurt...well, that part of my tummy is almost all better now.  However, my muscles on the lower tummy now hurt.  Like, it you were to grab your fat belly, like your roll, the part that kind of hangs down (sorry for the vulgar description) that's were it hurts.  Kind of in your uterus area.  I feel like I need to hold it in when I walk to keep it from hurting.  I talked to a friend today and she said her mom had the same thing and it was just trapped gas and sore muscles which I assumed it was, but it's nice to hear I'm not alone in this odd feeling.  The nurse from the drs office called me today.  She told me I could take the butterflies off.  So I did.  My incisions kind of look gross.  I'm sure they'll get better, I mean, they don't look infected or anything.  They're just not little, neat, flat little slits like I'd like them the be.  My port incision looks the best, the other little ones look puffed out.  Blah!  I have big yellow bruises around each one too and I still have that tape glue around them all.  Bottom line, my stomach looks like hell!  lol!  I'm going to get some little adhesive remover pads(for the skin) and see if I can clean it up a bit.

Well, wish me luck tomorrow on my first day back to work!  I'll let you know how it goes.

stir crazy

I don't know if I'm an underachiever or weak and pathetic but sometimes I kind of feel that way compared to some of the blogs I've read.  I was in crazy pain for the first two days post op, most people I've talked to..."oh it didn't hurt at all!"  It's day 6 and I'm still sore.  I tire easily and I'm taking it easy.  I took this week off to rest.  I'm not losing any weight and I'm totally ok with that and in fact, I don't expect to.  I'm also not exercising and I don't plan on it until I'm healed.  I don't know if that's being a slacker on my part but that's the way it is.  The real world doesn't start for me until Tuesday, until then, I'm on the couch relaxing.

If you can't tell, I feel irritated.  I guess I'm sick of sitting here, stuck in the house by myself, being sore.  Our lovely job scheduled my husband to work all but two days following my surgery (we work 12 hour shifts).  The day after surgery and Friday.  So other than that, I've been by myself and bored. It's been snowing the past two days so theres no going outside.  I think I'd rather be at work.

Drazil's Pimp Hand is Strong!

1. If you could be a weather forecast, what would you be and why?


I would be a sunny day, 80 degrees!  Nothing lifts my mood like a warm, bright day!


2. If you could be a crayon, what color would you be and why?

I'd be aqua blue.  The color of the Caribbean Ocean, the backdrop of my wedding.  Love it!  

3. What is/was your biggest physical goal you want to do when you hit your goal weight?

Well, I have lots of them.  First, I'd like to be able to paint my toes and shave my hoo-ha without feeling like I'm gonna pop an eyeball.  Second, I want to be able to keep up with my husband and our uber physically fit friend Rob who can't wait for us to join him in all of his fitness glory.  I want to play sports, I want to bike, swim, run, I want it alllll!!! 

4. If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?

I'd be a Pomeranian.  They are the cutest animal known to man and their owners tend to love the living sh*t out of them and spoil them rotten!  I'm all about being loved and spoiled! 

5. What was your highest weight- 282.5
    What is your weight now- 268
    What is your goal weight- 160
    What is your goal size- 12
    What diet do you follow- Well, I was recently banded so that's what I'm workin with now.

6. What’s your best advice for people in this weight loss journey?

I've been dieting my whole life and my best advice is to never give up on yourself, and alway remember that tomorrow is a new day. 

7. Have you ever shaved your whootananny?

lol, see number 3.



 

Accidental Overdose Oh My!

So, Day 5 was good (except for one thing, which I'll get to in a minute).  I feel pretty good.  Just a little sore in my abdominal muscles and that's it.  I'm able to get up and move around pretty easily.  I took shower #2 this morning.  Afterwards, I took off my bandages.  I still have butterflies on the incisions and I'll leave those alone for now.  After my shower, I decided to do the dishes and vacuum the livingroom. I was tired and sore after all that activity.  So when my hubby got home from work I decided I was going to take a little pain medicine before bed.  (I hadn't had any since the previous afternoon)  I usually take two syringes full which adds up to 20 ml.  I can have 15-30ml.  Well, my syringes were in the dishwasher so I decided to use a Nyquil medicine cup.  It didn't have mls on it just teaspoons and tablespoons.  I could have sworn my syringes said they held 2 tablespoons each.  So I came to the conclusion that I needed 2 full cups of medicine, adding up to 4 tablespoons (since I thought I'd been taking two, 2 tablespoon syringes full)  Well, AFTER I swallowed down my 4 tablespooons, I then decided to open the dishwasher and look at the syringes.  To my horror, they held 2 TEASPOONS EACH!!!  I took TWICE the maximum amount I was allowed!  I freaked out.  I went into the livingroom and told Mike I had overdosed.  He was worried about the Tylenol content in the medicine because it can really mess up your liver and I was worried about the narcotic content because I didn't want to stop breathing!  He called our good friend who is a RN and he said yes, it was a hefty dose, but I should be fine.  He called the pharmacy too and double checked.  I had a mini panic attack.  I felt like I couldn't breathe but then I engrossed myself in old sit-coms on tv and tried to keep my mind off of it.  I purposely kept myself awake even though I was soooo tired.  At 2 hours out, I relaxed and knew I was going to be ok.

I don't think I'll be taking anymore pain meds.  That scared the crap out of me!  Speaking of crap, I finally had a BM (sorry)  but it's been almost a week and a half, or longer.  As far as food goes, I've had pudding, applesauce, tomato soup (mmmmm good!) and a banana.  Not all in one day, lol, but those are the food items I've had this week.  I was a little nervous about the banana today but it went down fine.

We're having a huge snow storm right now here in Kansas City.  Which is totally rediculous!  My husband just told me we're talking this opportunity to go to Walmart.  I was like, "in a snowstorm in the middle of the night!!??"  and he said, "what better time to go to Walmart?"  LOL!  So true.

I can't wait until Monday when I can have mashed potatoes.  I'm pretty sick of sweet stuff.  I want some real wholesome food.  Someone mentioned Mashed potatoes and meatloaf...OMG I WANT THAT!!!

*I forgot to mention, I haven't lost any weight.  But I'm not too worried.  I haven't been doing hardly activity, just mainly resting and I'm only consuming around 500- 600 calories a day.  So I'm sure my body is in shock.  I think when I go back to work Tuesday, things will get more normal.*

Day 3 post op

I woke up today still pretty sore.  My back ached almost as much as my stomach, from having to lay in that one position for 3 days.  I like to sleep on my sides and that's just impossible at this point.  I came downstairs and took a shower.  I can't say it was a beautiful moment, I just wanted out of there so I could lay back down.  It did feel better to be clean though.  I got dressed and had a shake.  I then took my pain meds.  I felt much better.  Hubby got me set up with a heating pad on my back and it felt good.

Mike had to work tonight, so I'm home alone.  I was sad he had to go, and a little scared.  But I've been fine.  I'm just making sure I have something in my tum tum before I take my meds so I don't feel like puking.  So far I haven't had any issues like that today.

One thing I know I'm not doing good on is drinking water.  It just sounds so sick to me, but tonight I've been trying a little harder.

I haven't been able to cough much because of the pain, but today a big cough caught me off gaurd and I coughed up a huge glob of crap.  It was totally gross.  I know that getting pneumonia is pretty easy when you've had abdominal surgery because you're not deep breathing or coughing so that made me really aware of that possibility and I've been trying harder to deep breathing and splinting my stomach while I cough. 

So when did you guys take off your bandages??  I've lost my discharge paper that says when.

I have to say, that I think I can feel my "two' stomachs.  I can feel a burp building up in my lower tummy then it squeezes through the hole and up into my little one (which is a little bit painful) and then it comes out.  I'm glad I'm not having problems with burping.  I know some of you weren't able to at first.  I am wondering however, if I'll ever p*&p again.  It's been like a week.  But I haven't really been "eating" anything so maybe theres just nothing there.

Anyway, time to go walk a few laps around the house and lay back down.

Day 2- post op

Today was better than yesterday.  I mostly just have pain when I move.  So if I'm just laying there, I'm pain free.  Except for when my stomach growls.  It doesn't hurt hurt, just a little weird.  Also, when it does that, I can feel tiny little air bubbles come up my throat.  It kind of reminds me of pop rocks or something lol.  I've been keeping up on my pain meds pretty good to stay comfortable.  I've been walking around the house every few hours too.  My shoulders don't hurt like I've heard they would, I think all the gas is just in my gut and not going anywhere.  I've almost thrown up twice today.  Oh so close.  I got pale and clammy  but luckily the feeling when away.  I think it's because of the pain meds on top of a mostly empty tummy.  I've had a few protein shakes and a few liquid yogurt things.  They're called DanActive.  My pee problem has resolved itself so thats good.  I've just been sleeping a lot.  Tomorrow is shower day, I've got tape goo all over my arm from the IV's.  I just didn't feel up to showering today.  Sorry about my randomness squashed all in one paragraph, my mind is in a bit of a haze.  Talk to you tomorrow.

I made it

Hi guys, well I survived.  I start from the beginning.  We arrived at the hopital at 11:30 am and I got checked in.  Paid my crazy $5000 copay and then was taken back.  I had to pee in a cup the I was taken to my room.  There, I was instructed to take all my clothes off and scrub my whole body down with these wet pad things.  Which, since I just shaved prior, make my skin itch like the devil.

Then they put my IV in.  I've never had anyone get it on the first try, but this lady did.  She even numbed it before hand with was nice.


Then they put some stockings on my legs.


 
They brought Mike back after that.  We sat there for a long time.  My surgery was scheduled at 1:30pm and my doctor finally showed up around 2.  He came in and asked me some questions and then said it was going to be about another half hour becasue his wife is out of town and he had to run home and walk his dog real quick.  (are you kidding me??)  Then the anesthesiologist came in and asked more questons and then his resident came in and did the same.  Finally about 2:30pm they came in, put some Versed in my IV and off we went.  Once in the OR, I had to get on a different table and they put a mask tight over my face.  I went to sleep after that.  I woke up around 5:30pm in the recovery room.  I was crying and in the worst pain of my life.  I can't even decribe the pain.  It was HORRIBLE.  My port area hurt and my ribs felt like they had been pride apart and my chest/heart hurt and I couln't take a deep breath.  It was awful.  They told me I could stay if I wanted to so they could help control my pain, but I just wanted to go home.  So Mike dressed me and I got one more shot of pain meds in my iv before they took that out.  They wheeled me to the car and we went home.  I was still in crazy pain, to where I just cried and cried and was shaking.  I took some more meds and went to sleep.  Mike got me up a few times and we walked around the house a bit and I'm finally feeling better.  It still hurts like hell to move, but the feeling that my torso is going to explode and I can't breathe, has subsided.  Thank GOD!  I've never been in pain like that before.  I wasn't expecting that at all, since a few friends of mine who have had it told me they didn't hurt at all.  I think they PACKED my abdomen with gas or something because it was unbearable.  I'm so happy it's getting better.

I have cotten mouth like mad.  Mike bought me some apple juice, and that is just heaven.  My throat is sore too.  I'm not noticing any weird feelings with drinking.  I feel just the same as before in that area.

Now that my pain is finally under control, I'm super stoked I got this and everything went well.

Here's my sore sore bloated tummy.


Not quite sure why I have 6 holes but whatever.   I've been having to pee a lot and when I sit down to go, it just trickles out.  I don't know why that is.  Maybe because I'm all tensed up when I sit down or maybe all the gas in my tummy is doing something to my bladder.

Anyway, I'm going to go lay back down.  I just wanted to give you all an update.

XOXO

T-12hrs

Alright guys, in twelve hours I'll be at the hospital.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm just waiting and ready to get this over with.  I've been kind of moody today (sorry hubby!) and I think it all boils down to...I'm hungry.  I'm not allowed to even have my protein shakes today, just all clear liquids.  I just want to eat.  I guess what has me down is that it's been two weeks since I've eaten, and I'm going through surgery tomorrow...and I STILL can't eat after that. 

Ok, enough negative Nancy...  I KNOW it will get better, and I know eating is just right around the corner and so is a healthier me and I couldn't be more excited about that.  I just gotta get over the hard parts...and I'm almost there! 

Surgery is at 1:30 PM CST, so think about me tomorrow around your lunchtime and I'll see you on the other side.

XOXO

It's gettin close!

1 day left!!!!!!!!!!!!  12 pounds down!!!!!  I should be in the 260's by tomorrow so yay!  I am getting more and more nervous about surgery.  I think being in the medical field can make you even more nervous because you KNOW pretty much everything they're going to do to you.  I hope they give me some relaxy medicine in pre-op, cuz I'll probably be all worked up.

Anyway, I just woke up about an hour ago and it's all cloudy and drizzly outsite, booo!!  Mike had to go into work for about 4 hours so he won't be home until 10.  My ankle is still swollen and sore so no treadmill tonight and I'm kinda doubting it will be fixed by tomorrow either.  I wonder how much weight I could have lost if I was able to exercise this past week.  Oh well.  I'll get some exercise cleaning the house.

I'm wondering if theres any last minute things I need to buy.  I have Tylenol, heating pad, I'm ok in the food department I think.  I was going to get Gas-X but I read people saying their doctor said it's pointless and doesn't really help.  What do you guys think?

 *Don't forget to set your clocks forward tonight!!!*  Hurray for longer days!

So0o Dreamy

So I don't have much to report.  I'm still alive and doing great the past few days.  I haven't had anything but my 3 shakes per day.  Good girl!!  lol!  I'm down 9.3 pounds now.  I'm hoping to make it into the high 260's by my surgery day.  I only need to lose about 3 more pounds to acheive that, so I think I can do it. 

My ankle is getting better.  Still sore and I still walk with a limp, but at least I can walk.  This weekend I really want to get in some exercise.  We'll see.

The past few days, I've been having crazy dreams.  The night before last, I dreamt that my band surgeon, Dr. Price, completed my surgery.  But the kicker was...he ALSO cut out my ovaries and threw them in the TRASH!!!  I was back to work the next day and I found this out so I went to his office (I work in a hospital) and I said, "OMG you threw away my ovaries and didn't even save any of my eggs?!?!?!!!  Now I'll NEVER have kids of my own!"  He said, well you can use a donar egg and I said, "but the baby won't look like me if I do that!!!"  I was devastated :(  Thank God it was just a dream lol!  I'll be sure to let Dr. Price know to leave my ovaries alone when he goes in there haha!  In case you don't remember from my first blog post, one of the main reasons I'm having this done is in hopes to be able to conceive a baby.  We've tried for close to 2 years with no luck.  So I pray to God that when this weight comes off we'll get our little miracle.

My dreams last night were about my fellow bloggers, however I can't rememeber them.  Darn it!!  Don't you wish we could record our dreams and watch them later?  That would be pretty awesome lol!

Anyway, I better get back to work.

Hello0o0o

Hey guys!  Well, I don't have much to report other than my ankle is feeling a bit better.  I can hobble around now without any assistance so that's good.  No exercising though, which is a bummer.

Here is a pic of my lovely swollen ankle.  It looks like I have a major case of the cankles but I assure you it's the swelling lol!  I have a little bruise there too it looks like.  


 5 days left people!!  I'm sticking my nose to the grindstone and I'm gonna make it through this hell they call the pre-op diet.  It's my "time of the month" and so I've had a few slip ups with food (my uterus told me to do it!)  But I work the next 3 days (12 hours shifts) and I tend to do a lot better when I'm at work.  I'm occupied most of the time and I have many supporters there keeping a watchful eye on me lol!

Oh, I almost forgot.  I've lost 8.5 pounds so far!! :)

So much for exercise today...and maybe tomorrow :(

So I sprained my ankle on my way to the truck to go to the lake trail for our walk/bike thing.  I stepped wrong as I was going out the door and my ankle folded and I heard a big pop and I went down.  I immediately starting crying like a baby, but damn it hurt.  My husband came running and helped me into the house.  He got me to the couch and put my foot up and wrapped it in an ace bandage.  He put ice on it and got me ibuprofen.  He's such a good hubby.  It hurt terribly at first but I think my meds have kicked in and it's feeling better.  However, I just went to the bathroom and that was NOT FUN.  I can't bear any weight on it at all and even with Mike's help, it's very tough to hop all that way.  After a long struggle and a few more tears, I made it there and back.  This just sucks because it is such a nice day and now we just have to sit here.  I told Mike to go ahead and go without me, that I wanted him to enjoy the day, but he said no he's staying here with me.  I really hope it feels better by tomorrow.

Day 6

Today was a better day I suppose. We woke up and went for a walk.  I decided we should bring the dogs.  They don't get out for walks on the leash much so it was pretty much a disaster.  We ended up only going about a quarter of a mile.  But hey, it was better than nothing. 

Once we got home we began looking through my husband's P90X material.  In case you don't know what P90X is, it's a program developed to get you ripped in 90 days.  He plans on starting that after my surgery.  It includes eating plans and several DVDs.  While we were doing that, I remembered this booklet of info my nutritionist gave me.  I opened it up and to my relief, there were guidelines in there for post op eating.  I was worried about this because my doctor was so vague about how to eat right after surgery.  He didn't tell me much of anything.  So, here's what it says:

Days 1-2:  Clear Liquids (32-64oz per day).  Plus liquid protein supplements equaling at least 60 grams per day.

Days 3-4:  Add full liquids, low sodium tomato juice, thin cream soups and yogurt.

Days 5-6:  Add applesauce, pudding, smoothies and bananas.

Days 7-10:  Add mashed potatoes, cream of wheat, baby food, well cooked vegetables, beans and vegetable soup.  (No grits, rice, pasta or peanut butter)

Days 10-13:  Add baked potato, oatmeal, soft boiled and scrambled eggs, cottage cheese and canned pears.

After two weeks: Slowley add baked fish, tuna, whole wheat crackers, small amounts of rice, pasta, vegetables and whole grain cereal, granola bars, protein bars.

Week 6:  Add baked turkey, chicken and salads

Week 8: Add ground beef and gradually add roast beef, ham and sausage.  Slowly add fresh fruits.  Steak should be last.

Now, I know that's way different than a lot of yours and it seems to be a bit more speedy but I'm just glad I have SOMETHING to go by.  I can take it more slow if I need to.  Anyway, so I made a list according to what the book says I can have and went to the grocery store.  I bought applesauce and this delicious looking peach applesauce too (all no sugar added), pudding cups (all sorts of fabulous flavors, again, no sugar) and lots of cream soups.  I got cream of chicken, tomato, cream of broccoli, cheddar soup (which I'll add to the cream of broccoli) and I think thats all the soups.  I also got a pack of the yogurt drinks.  I totally forgot regular yogurt.  So all that should get me through the first couple of weeks. 

So, I have a confession to make.  I cheated today.  I am in PMS mode and my brain was screaming FEEEEED MEEEEE!  I literally couldn't go another second without food.  So I had a small piece of chicken breast and some green beans.  Also, I had a handful of wheat thins and some hummus.  I wish I wouldn't have, but my brain said i had to.  I couldn't stop myself.  I did however, take some of my carb blocking pills I have prior to eating my wheat thins.  Maybe that can counteract some of the damage a little bit.  :-P

Tomorrow, me, my husband and another couple are going to go up to this paved trail that surrounds a lake and get some exercise.  They're going to ride their bikes but I want to walk.  It's 4 miles.  So I'm sure they'll go around several times on their bikes but I just plan on walking around it once.  I'm not sure I've every walked 4 miles at one time before but I'm sure I can do it.  It'll be great.  Wish me luck!

I think I've lost it

Ok so it's 0535 and I'm about to be off work shortly.  I have to say that tonight has been one of the hardest nights so far.  It's been more about physical hunger tonight than head hunger.  I am starving!  I feel nauseous, like I could throw up at any second.  I'm tired, my head is foggy and I'm BITCHY!  I'm dreading the drive home.  I'm going STRAIGHT to bed when I get there and pray I wake up feeling much better.  I can't believe I have 9 more days of this!  OK, I'm done venting now.  Thank you for listening.

On the plus side, as of yesterday afternoon I've lost almost 6 pounds.

Still hangin in there

Hello everyone!  It's 2am and I'm at work.  Today (technically yesterday) I woke up and actually felt great.  I was in a good mood, not having any crazy head hunger attacks and I cleaned house and even did the treadmill for the 3rd day in a row.  I was down another half pound too!  I'm really suprised that my physical hunger hasn't been worse than it is.  I mean, I get hungery, but nothing crazy to where I feel sick or anything.  I thought for sure I'd have headaches and stuff, but so far so good.  Like I've said before though, head hunger is a bi*ch!  But as long as I keep myself occupied I'm ok.  I work again tomorrow night (technically tonight), then Saturday night we're supposed to go visit Mike's brother who lives about 45 mins away.  When he mentioned going over there I was like, "well I hope they aren't planning on having us over for dinner, because that would be TORTURE for me!"  So he's going to ask them if they'd like to go bowling or something.  So that should be fun.  Sunday it's supposed to be 60 degrees here (which is fantastic considering it's been like 20-30 for the past forever!)  so I'm hoping Mike and I can go outside to get some exercise.  I want to find a measured trail somewhere.  We have one right behind our house, but I'm not sure how long it is.  We'll have to check it out.  Anyhoo, I better get back to work :)

Po0o0o0o0or Me!

Ok can somebody PLEASE give me a logical explanation as to why I can't have chicken breast and broccoli at least once a day on this stupid pre-op diet????  (seriously, I want an explanation) I don't get it!  This is torture and I don't like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I think I am now going through withdraw.  I hope it gets better.  My stomach is hungry, but it's not terrible.  My head hunger is terrible.  I just want to EEEEAAATT!  Tonight my husband has to work so I'll be all alone here, just me, my rumbling tummy and my famished brain.  UGH! 

On a more positive note, the scale has moved down 4 pounds.  So that's good.

I survived

So I went to my pre-op appointment today.  I talked with the nurse a little bit about some basic "rules" of lapbandom.  Then I had some blood taken, ekg, chest x-ray and she took my measurements.  They took a before pic too.  Then I met with my surgeon.  He asked if I had any questions and I really didn't have too many.  I did ask him about the POST-op diet because the nurse was pretty vague about it.  Well, the doctor ended up being pretty vague too.  He said that for 2 weeks post surgery I'll need to be on liquids.  Full liquids.  He said nothing about mushies or how much I should eat at one time.  He just said that he'll place the band flat (no saline) and a couple days after surgery I'll feel like I can eat just like before.  He said I won't have any restriction.  He also said that some people say they feel restriction without saline but he thinks it might just be in their head lol!  So after two weeks, I'm supposed to come in for a check-up (April 1st to be exact)  and he'll probably give me a fill then.  Did you hear that?  TWO WEEKS!!  That's sweet!  That would mean less time in bandster hell!  He said with the first fill he does 2-4cc's.  I hope he goes with 4, why drag this out?  lol!  He then said he'll do more fills every 2-4 weeks as needed.  So I was pretty happy when I left.

edit* I wanted to add that I'm so glad to have all of you people because without you I think I'd be so lost considering my dr is so darn vague.  So thank you and I'm glad that I know, because of all of you, how things should be done.

After the appointment I had to meet my husband at his sisters for another family gathering.  They had the graveside services today for his mom (which I couldn't attend due to my appt.)  When I arrived, there was food galore!  It was pretty much torture.  But I didn't cheat one bit.  Oh my Lord it was HARD!  Delicious food as far as the eye could see!  I just had a protein shake and a bottle of water.  We just got home and I made some chicken broth and I have to say, it was the best damn broth I've ever had!  I might have some jello next.  Anyway, I guess that's all for now.  Goodnight...

 *oh, I wanted to add, thank you guys so much for all your great comments.  You make me feel so good.  You're support is greatly appreciated :)*

The ugly truth

 

Ok, so here are some more standard (and very unflattering) pics.  Excuse the bed head.  I took some in my bra and these pants to show off my gorgeous tummy and I also took some with a tank top.  However I couldn't bring myself to post either one of them out of pure shame.  Oh they are so bad.  Mainly my arms.   From the back they look like they belong to someone much bigger than me.  I was shocked!  So, until I have a MUCH better picture to post in comparison, those pics will stay hidden away.  

Well, yesterday was the first day of my pre-op diet.  I started at midnight, March 1st.  Around 9pm ( 21 hours after starting) I ate.  I think I have a pretty good excuse though.  My mother in law's funeral was last night, and afterward we all went to dinner together.  A stressful, sad day like that makes it hard.  I only had the one meal and I don't plan on eating anymore.  So far this morning i've had a bottle of water.  My stomach is rumbling so I think I'll fix a protein shake and then hit the treadmill.  My "before" pics were pretty motivating for me.  I need to blow them up and post them on the fridge!  lol!

Alright, now that that confession is out of the way I think I'll hit the shower and get ready for my pre-op appointment. (after the treadmill of coarse!)

It is what it is

Well people, the time has come to post the dreaded "before pictures" Dun dun DUNNNNNN!!!
Here's my head...

Here's my front...

Heres my back...my incredibly HUGE BACK! (There are so many things I hate about this pic)


I also took measurements, which I know are boring to read but I'd like to post them for my reference.

Belly- 53"
High waist- 43"
Bust- 49 1/2"
Right arm- 17 1/2"
Left arm- 18"
Right thigh- 34 1/2"
Left thigh- 33 1/2"
Right calf- 18 1/4"
Left calf- 18 1/2"
Right forearm-12 3/4"
Left forearm- 12 1/4"
Neck-15 1/2" 

Official start weight......  282.5!! 

More boring stuff... 40.6% water, 7.8% bone, BMI 47, 125 lbs fat, 44.3% fat.  

Well, it's been a long day.  Mike's mom's funeral was tonight.  I go to my pre-op doctors appointment tomorrow at 1:30pm so I'll be sure to get on and tell you what they say.  I'll probably post some more "standard" type "before" pics.  Goodnight all.

 

Eat while the eatin's good!

Well, today is my last day of "normal" eating. I've been excited up to this point, now I'm a bit scared and sad. I know I'll do fine, but it just all seems crazy. No solid food for the next month. (at least 2 weeks pre and post surgery) Say whaaaaat? lol!

So I work tonight 6pm-6am. My pre-op diet (water, broth, sf jello, protein shakes) starts at midnight. So I figure I'll have my last meal at work. I haven't decided what that will be yet, but probably nothing spectacular. Maybe a Wendy's cheeseburger since they are right next door.

I'll be putting up my official start weight and "before" pics tomorrow.

Rest in peace Susan

A terrible thing happened yesterday. My husband's Mother passed away. She's been ill, but it came suddenly and was kind of unexpected. Very sad. It's hard to see my husband hurting. Last night was pretty rough, but it's getting better. Today,we went shopping for dress clothes for the funeral. I have plenty in my closet, but of coarse I've grown out of them. So I had to buy new. Luckily Fashion Bug was having a huge sale and I got a shirt, a skirt (I've never worn a skirt before, eeek! but my hubby said it looks good) and some "smoothing" undergarments for $45!!! What a steal! We then went shoe shopping. Check out my heels!


Aren't they cute! I've never worn high heels before either. That sounds pathetic.

Anyway, we went out to lunch. We chose Chinese. I only have a few more days until I start my diet so we had a farewell Chinese buffet day. I know I will eat Chinese again, but won't be able to stuff myself with a buffet and I can't say I'm sad about it. I did try something new while we were there. I've never had crab legs (I'm not much of a fish/seafood fan) So we ordered some. I liked it. I didn't LOVE it, but I liked it. I could only eat a little bit though. My husband brought up a good point, a plate of crab legs would be great for a bander (if you like crab legs) Because for one, it only adds up to maybe a half cup of meat, and it's healthy AND it takes a while to eat it because you have to take the time to crack the shells and stuff. That would def keep you from eating too fast.



Well, I'm going to get off here, hope everyone is having a great week!

Just do it!

So, I've been seriously thinking about changing careers lately. I'm pretty sick of my profession. I work in health care as respiratory therapist. I respond to code blues, perform CPR, put people of life support, give medications that help you breathe, etc. It may sound exciting, and sometimes it is, but it gets pretty routine. You see the same patients that won't quit smoking and have terrible lung disease and they come in over and over and over again. I could tell you some stories. I guess I'm just burnt out. It doesn't help either that I have the worst boss in the history of the planet. Not exaggerating, she is the spawn of satan. I wouldn't pee on her if she were on fire. I know that sounds terrible, but if you knew her, you'd understand. What I'm getting at is, with getting this surgery, I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life. A "do-over" of sorts. I feel like I want to leave the old Ashli behind and start fresh. A new body, a new career and a new attitude! I'd like to leave everything behind except of coarse my wonderful, fantastic, supportive husband! Too bad I can't leave my debt behind LOL! I wish we could pick up and move. I'd go to Florida. I crave warm weather and the ocean. I'd love to just be able to take a quick car ride to the beach. That sounds absolutely amazing. We will someday. But we just moved into our house a year ago and we have some things to do before we can do anything like that.

Anyway, I guess I haven't even mentioned the career I'd like to switch to. Cosmetology. I know that may sound weird, it's got nothing to do with the medical field. But it's something that I think I'd love, have a passion for. At first, I began looking at other careers that are similar to what I do now and make similar money, but why does it always have to be about money? What about happiness? My husband told me, "If it's something you've always wanted to do, then why not? DO IT!" I think I just might. It makes me excited thinking about it. Of coarse I can always keep an "as needed" position at the hospital and keep up my license to make extra money if I need to. I don't know for sure what I'm going to do, but you only live once so why not spend it doing something that makes you happy. I'm about 99% sure I'm going to sign up after summer is over. Can't wait!

Snow snow go away!

So right about the time I was going to leave for my hair appt they called and said it was canceled because my lady couldn't get to work because of the weather. So I decided to go do my shopping. The roads were so0o0o crappy! Good thing I have a 4x4 SUV. I got my protein and jello and broth and crystal light, etc. I tried the protein when I got home. I got chocolate and vanilla. I like it. It would be real good if I was able to mix it with milk but my doctor says water only. So it tastes, well, watered down. The brand I got was Body Fortress from Wal-Mart and it was only $12.00. It's whey protein isolate and contains 26g of protein, 110 cal and just a couple carbs. Sounds good to me! The woman at the checkout looked at me crazy because of the 20 boxes of jello I bought lmao! That may be overkill, but if that's the only solid food I can have for 14 days, I might be eating a lot of it. She ended up asking me about it and I told her about my surgery. She was a sweet ol lady :)







So, as I was leaving to go to Wal-Mart, my dumb dog got outside and ran for the hills. As I was on my way home from shopping, my husband calls and said someone had spotted her down the road. So I go there and there are several cars in front of me and I see her in the middle of the street walking in my direction against all this traffic. Nobody was behind me so I stopped and attempted to get her in the truck. She thinks it's cute to get real close to you then run away. So I didn't get her. I came home and my husband was shoveling the driveway and she comes and zooms past him several times, of coarse not getting quite close enough to catch. So whatever!! She can stay out in the snow and be cold. Little brat! It's 31 outside, so that's not too bad. Hopefully she comes back before dark.

Here's the naughty girl, Xena.