Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Filler up!

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.


I get my first fill tomorrow hopefully! My appointment is at 9:45 am.  I don't have much to report.  I can eat pretty much like before surgery (not that I am) but I feel normal, like I never had anything done.  So I'm excited for my fill.  I'm ready to see the scale move down!  The weather here is fabulous, so I'm eager to get outside and exercise also.  It's 80 degrees!!  Love it!

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Early Visitor

I don't have much to report as I've just been working the past couple of days.  I do have an intersting thing to share though.  So the past few days I've had some minor menstral cramps.  I blew them off cuz I'm only on cycle day 20 and I  NEVER get my period early.  Never have I ever.  So, I go use the restroom...and I've started.  I decided to do some research and I found out that estrogen is stored in body fat.  When you lose body fat rapidly, it dumps that estrogen into your blood stream and that can cause your periods to be wonky.  I thought that was interesting.  Any of you have similar experiences??

Friday, March 26, 2010


So, I just did 30 mins on the treadmill!  I feel so much better :)  The cable cord to our tv  by the treadmill is off at the moment and so I read a book while walking and time flew by.  Way faster than when I watch tv.  Hmmm..  I wasn't walking super fast though so that may be why it seemed easier. 

Sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs much.  Lately I've been reading them using an app on my iPod and I don't think you can comment using it.  Or else I just have figured it out yet.  But I read them everyday and think you guys are great.  Thank you for your continued support.

Ok, that's all for now.

I hate thinking of titles sometimes, and today's one of them days.

So, since surgery I'd been feeling a little restriction I think.  I'd get full after about a cup of food.  I'd get hungry again about 2 hours later though.  Well, I think that vanished today.  I'm assuming that's pretty normal since it's probably just from swelling.  It sucks though.  I feel like I want to snack and eat out of boredom again just like before surgery.  I had 1300 calories today.  Which I know is  fine and around what I should be eating but that feels like a ton.  Up until today, I was a little worried about what my fill would do to me considering I was getting full on one cup but now I'm ready!  I want it and need it.  Luckily I only have 6 more days until my appointment.  Hopefully it goes well, and doesn't hurt like a bitch.  With my luck, it will hurt like a bitch, lol.  I feel sorry for people that have to wait 6 weeks.  Man, that would suck!  I'd probably gain weight back for sure if I had to wait that long.

Anyway, I didn't do the treadmill today.  I just don't feel motivated.  I don't know why?  I got what I wanted, I have the Lapband now and I still feel blah.  I think its because the weather is still gray and crappy and my husband and I have been on opposite schedules for 2 weeks.  It just really bums me out.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Feeling pretty good

So my first night back to work was not so good.  For some damn reason I couldn't sleep before work.  I had been up all night (I work nights) and then that morning when it was time to go to bed, I couldn't.  SO I went into work having already been up for 18 hours.  I couldn't call in because I had my yearly evaluation with my boss at 5pm.  Plus, my husband was the one on call and he hadn't slept either.  So I was screwed.  Anyway, I went in and we were of coarse busy.  I kinda guess that was a good thing, as it kept me awake but I was so sore and grumpy.  Luckily we had a third person coming in at 11pm so I was able to go home after that.  I ended up going to bed after being up for amost 30 hours.  YUCK!

My second night back was much better.  I was fully rested and in a cheerful mood.  The only thing that really gets sore now is my port area.  It feels like it's tugging and pulling a lot.  It's weird.  I wonder how easy it is to accidentally flip a port.  Bending over is still a challange.  Most of our meds are in the bottom drawer of the of the Pixis here at work and if nobody is around to help me, it's quite the show.  I shimmy down the wall and hold onto the door handle then grab my meds and pull myself back up lol!  Good leg workout too lol!

My lower abdominal pain has gone away completely, like I said, just port discomfort now.  It got me thinking.  I'm due for a fill in 7 days.  It's gonna be interesting when he's feeling around on my belly looking for the port.  I think it's going to hurt, and I've heard he doesn't use any numbing stuff.  Idk, we'll see.

As far as my water consumption, since I've returned to work, it's gotten better, but I'm still not up to to the amount I should be drinking.  I WILL get better though.  I know how important it is.  Another thing I'm sucking at is drinking protein shakes.  UGH!  I don't want any!!! 

I haven't exercised yet, but I think I will start very soon.  Maybe today.  I'm just going to walk on my treadmill if anything.  Nothing too crazy.  I weighed my self finally and I've lost 2.5 pound since surgery.  I'm down 16.6 pounds as of yesterday.  :)

Well, it's bedtime for me.  Nighty night.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Back to Work

I always seem to want to start my blogs out with "so," or "well,"  I need to find better intros lol.  Anyway, today was day 7 and I had mashed potatoes!!!  So yummy!  I've found these little packets that have 80 calorie servings and they're so yummy.  They have all different flavors.  I think they're by Betty Crocker.  I also had some refried beans today.  I put a touch of sour cream and some Spanish Gardens sauce on them too.  HEAVEN!! 

I return to work tomorrow (well, technically tonight since it is now 3:55am on Tuesday)  It's going to be a little rough because I am still pretty sore and it's very hard for me to bend over without pain in my port area.  Let's hope I don't drop anything! 

I am a bit excited about it only because I'm ready to get back to the real world and start doing things the way they should be done.  Like a routine I should say.  The past 7 days I've just been lounging and eating and drinking when I feel like it etc.  When I go to work, I will pack my lunch and bring my water and I'll feel better being back on a schedule. 

I have been a total slacker in the water drinking department so I'm ready to jump back on that band wagon tomorrow.  I'm going to weigh in tomorrow, since my new routine starts then.  I wonder what I'll weigh.  I hope I haven't gained too much.  But if so, oh well.  This past week doesn't count.

Do you remember when you first had surgery how your muscles under your incisions were super sore?  Like when you went to lay down or get up it hurt...well, that part of my tummy is almost all better now.  However, my muscles on the lower tummy now hurt.  Like, it you were to grab your fat belly, like your roll, the part that kind of hangs down (sorry for the vulgar description) that's were it hurts.  Kind of in your uterus area.  I feel like I need to hold it in when I walk to keep it from hurting.  I talked to a friend today and she said her mom had the same thing and it was just trapped gas and sore muscles which I assumed it was, but it's nice to hear I'm not alone in this odd feeling.  The nurse from the drs office called me today.  She told me I could take the butterflies off.  So I did.  My incisions kind of look gross.  I'm sure they'll get better, I mean, they don't look infected or anything.  They're just not little, neat, flat little slits like I'd like them the be.  My port incision looks the best, the other little ones look puffed out.  Blah!  I have big yellow bruises around each one too and I still have that tape glue around them all.  Bottom line, my stomach looks like hell!  lol!  I'm going to get some little adhesive remover pads(for the skin) and see if I can clean it up a bit.

Well, wish me luck tomorrow on my first day back to work!  I'll let you know how it goes.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

stir crazy

I don't know if I'm an underachiever or weak and pathetic but sometimes I kind of feel that way compared to some of the blogs I've read.  I was in crazy pain for the first two days post op, most people I've talked to..."oh it didn't hurt at all!"  It's day 6 and I'm still sore.  I tire easily and I'm taking it easy.  I took this week off to rest.  I'm not losing any weight and I'm totally ok with that and in fact, I don't expect to.  I'm also not exercising and I don't plan on it until I'm healed.  I don't know if that's being a slacker on my part but that's the way it is.  The real world doesn't start for me until Tuesday, until then, I'm on the couch relaxing.

If you can't tell, I feel irritated.  I guess I'm sick of sitting here, stuck in the house by myself, being sore.  Our lovely job scheduled my husband to work all but two days following my surgery (we work 12 hour shifts).  The day after surgery and Friday.  So other than that, I've been by myself and bored. It's been snowing the past two days so theres no going outside.  I think I'd rather be at work.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Drazil's Pimp Hand is Strong!

1. If you could be a weather forecast, what would you be and why?

I would be a sunny day, 80 degrees!  Nothing lifts my mood like a warm, bright day!

2. If you could be a crayon, what color would you be and why?

I'd be aqua blue.  The color of the Caribbean Ocean, the backdrop of my wedding.  Love it!  

3. What is/was your biggest physical goal you want to do when you hit your goal weight?

Well, I have lots of them.  First, I'd like to be able to paint my toes and shave my hoo-ha without feeling like I'm gonna pop an eyeball.  Second, I want to be able to keep up with my husband and our uber physically fit friend Rob who can't wait for us to join him in all of his fitness glory.  I want to play sports, I want to bike, swim, run, I want it alllll!!! 

4. If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?

I'd be a Pomeranian.  They are the cutest animal known to man and their owners tend to love the living sh*t out of them and spoil them rotten!  I'm all about being loved and spoiled! 

5. What was your highest weight- 282.5
    What is your weight now- 268
    What is your goal weight- 160
    What is your goal size- 12
    What diet do you follow- Well, I was recently banded so that's what I'm workin with now.

6. What’s your best advice for people in this weight loss journey?

I've been dieting my whole life and my best advice is to never give up on yourself, and alway remember that tomorrow is a new day. 

7. Have you ever shaved your whootananny?

lol, see number 3.


Accidental Overdose Oh My!

So, Day 5 was good (except for one thing, which I'll get to in a minute).  I feel pretty good.  Just a little sore in my abdominal muscles and that's it.  I'm able to get up and move around pretty easily.  I took shower #2 this morning.  Afterwards, I took off my bandages.  I still have butterflies on the incisions and I'll leave those alone for now.  After my shower, I decided to do the dishes and vacuum the livingroom. I was tired and sore after all that activity.  So when my hubby got home from work I decided I was going to take a little pain medicine before bed.  (I hadn't had any since the previous afternoon)  I usually take two syringes full which adds up to 20 ml.  I can have 15-30ml.  Well, my syringes were in the dishwasher so I decided to use a Nyquil medicine cup.  It didn't have mls on it just teaspoons and tablespoons.  I could have sworn my syringes said they held 2 tablespoons each.  So I came to the conclusion that I needed 2 full cups of medicine, adding up to 4 tablespoons (since I thought I'd been taking two, 2 tablespoon syringes full)  Well, AFTER I swallowed down my 4 tablespooons, I then decided to open the dishwasher and look at the syringes.  To my horror, they held 2 TEASPOONS EACH!!!  I took TWICE the maximum amount I was allowed!  I freaked out.  I went into the livingroom and told Mike I had overdosed.  He was worried about the Tylenol content in the medicine because it can really mess up your liver and I was worried about the narcotic content because I didn't want to stop breathing!  He called our good friend who is a RN and he said yes, it was a hefty dose, but I should be fine.  He called the pharmacy too and double checked.  I had a mini panic attack.  I felt like I couldn't breathe but then I engrossed myself in old sit-coms on tv and tried to keep my mind off of it.  I purposely kept myself awake even though I was soooo tired.  At 2 hours out, I relaxed and knew I was going to be ok.

I don't think I'll be taking anymore pain meds.  That scared the crap out of me!  Speaking of crap, I finally had a BM (sorry)  but it's been almost a week and a half, or longer.  As far as food goes, I've had pudding, applesauce, tomato soup (mmmmm good!) and a banana.  Not all in one day, lol, but those are the food items I've had this week.  I was a little nervous about the banana today but it went down fine.

We're having a huge snow storm right now here in Kansas City.  Which is totally rediculous!  My husband just told me we're talking this opportunity to go to Walmart.  I was like, "in a snowstorm in the middle of the night!!??"  and he said, "what better time to go to Walmart?"  LOL!  So true.

I can't wait until Monday when I can have mashed potatoes.  I'm pretty sick of sweet stuff.  I want some real wholesome food.  Someone mentioned Mashed potatoes and meatloaf...OMG I WANT THAT!!!

*I forgot to mention, I haven't lost any weight.  But I'm not too worried.  I haven't been doing hardly activity, just mainly resting and I'm only consuming around 500- 600 calories a day.  So I'm sure my body is in shock.  I think when I go back to work Tuesday, things will get more normal.*

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 3 post op

I woke up today still pretty sore.  My back ached almost as much as my stomach, from having to lay in that one position for 3 days.  I like to sleep on my sides and that's just impossible at this point.  I came downstairs and took a shower.  I can't say it was a beautiful moment, I just wanted out of there so I could lay back down.  It did feel better to be clean though.  I got dressed and had a shake.  I then took my pain meds.  I felt much better.  Hubby got me set up with a heating pad on my back and it felt good.

Mike had to work tonight, so I'm home alone.  I was sad he had to go, and a little scared.  But I've been fine.  I'm just making sure I have something in my tum tum before I take my meds so I don't feel like puking.  So far I haven't had any issues like that today.

One thing I know I'm not doing good on is drinking water.  It just sounds so sick to me, but tonight I've been trying a little harder.

I haven't been able to cough much because of the pain, but today a big cough caught me off gaurd and I coughed up a huge glob of crap.  It was totally gross.  I know that getting pneumonia is pretty easy when you've had abdominal surgery because you're not deep breathing or coughing so that made me really aware of that possibility and I've been trying harder to deep breathing and splinting my stomach while I cough. 

So when did you guys take off your bandages??  I've lost my discharge paper that says when.

I have to say, that I think I can feel my "two' stomachs.  I can feel a burp building up in my lower tummy then it squeezes through the hole and up into my little one (which is a little bit painful) and then it comes out.  I'm glad I'm not having problems with burping.  I know some of you weren't able to at first.  I am wondering however, if I'll ever p*&p again.  It's been like a week.  But I haven't really been "eating" anything so maybe theres just nothing there.

Anyway, time to go walk a few laps around the house and lay back down.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 2- post op

Today was better than yesterday.  I mostly just have pain when I move.  So if I'm just laying there, I'm pain free.  Except for when my stomach growls.  It doesn't hurt hurt, just a little weird.  Also, when it does that, I can feel tiny little air bubbles come up my throat.  It kind of reminds me of pop rocks or something lol.  I've been keeping up on my pain meds pretty good to stay comfortable.  I've been walking around the house every few hours too.  My shoulders don't hurt like I've heard they would, I think all the gas is just in my gut and not going anywhere.  I've almost thrown up twice today.  Oh so close.  I got pale and clammy  but luckily the feeling when away.  I think it's because of the pain meds on top of a mostly empty tummy.  I've had a few protein shakes and a few liquid yogurt things.  They're called DanActive.  My pee problem has resolved itself so thats good.  I've just been sleeping a lot.  Tomorrow is shower day, I've got tape goo all over my arm from the IV's.  I just didn't feel up to showering today.  Sorry about my randomness squashed all in one paragraph, my mind is in a bit of a haze.  Talk to you tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I made it

Hi guys, well I survived.  I start from the beginning.  We arrived at the hopital at 11:30 am and I got checked in.  Paid my crazy $5000 copay and then was taken back.  I had to pee in a cup the I was taken to my room.  There, I was instructed to take all my clothes off and scrub my whole body down with these wet pad things.  Which, since I just shaved prior, make my skin itch like the devil.
Then they put my IV in.  I've never had anyone get it on the first try, but this lady did.  She even numbed it before hand with was nice.

Then they put some stockings on my legs.

They brought Mike back after that.  We sat there for a long time.  My surgery was scheduled at 1:30pm and my doctor finally showed up around 2.  He came in and asked me some questions and then said it was going to be about another half hour becasue his wife is out of town and he had to run home and walk his dog real quick.  (are you kidding me??)  Then the anesthesiologist came in and asked more questons and then his resident came in and did the same.  Finally about 2:30pm they came in, put some Versed in my IV and off we went.  Once in the OR, I had to get on a different table and they put a mask tight over my face.  I went to sleep after that.  I woke up around 5:30pm in the recovery room.  I was crying and in the worst pain of my life.  I can't even decribe the pain.  It was HORRIBLE.  My port area hurt and my ribs felt like they had been pride apart and my chest/heart hurt and I couln't take a deep breath.  It was awful.  They told me I could stay if I wanted to so they could help control my pain, but I just wanted to go home.  So Mike dressed me and I got one more shot of pain meds in my iv before they took that out.  They wheeled me to the car and we went home.  I was still in crazy pain, to where I just cried and cried and was shaking.  I took some more meds and went to sleep.  Mike got me up a few times and we walked around the house a bit and I'm finally feeling better.  It still hurts like hell to move, but the feeling that my torso is going to explode and I can't breathe, has subsided.  Thank GOD!  I've never been in pain like that before.  I wasn't expecting that at all, since a few friends of mine who have had it told me they didn't hurt at all.  I think they PACKED my abdomen with gas or something because it was unbearable.  I'm so happy it's getting better.

I have cotten mouth like mad.  Mike bought me some apple juice, and that is just heaven.  My throat is sore too.  I'm not noticing any weird feelings with drinking.  I feel just the same as before in that area.

Now that my pain is finally under control, I'm super stoked I got this and everything went well.

Here's my sore sore bloated tummy.

Not quite sure why I have 6 holes but whatever.   I've been having to pee a lot and when I sit down to go, it just trickles out.  I don't know why that is.  Maybe because I'm all tensed up when I sit down or maybe all the gas in my tummy is doing something to my bladder.

Anyway, I'm going to go lay back down.  I just wanted to give you all an update.


Sunday, March 14, 2010


Alright guys, in twelve hours I'll be at the hospital.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm just waiting and ready to get this over with.  I've been kind of moody today (sorry hubby!) and I think it all boils down to...I'm hungry.  I'm not allowed to even have my protein shakes today, just all clear liquids.  I just want to eat.  I guess what has me down is that it's been two weeks since I've eaten, and I'm going through surgery tomorrow...and I STILL can't eat after that. 

Ok, enough negative Nancy...  I KNOW it will get better, and I know eating is just right around the corner and so is a healthier me and I couldn't be more excited about that.  I just gotta get over the hard parts...and I'm almost there! 

Surgery is at 1:30 PM CST, so think about me tomorrow around your lunchtime and I'll see you on the other side.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

It's gettin close!

1 day left!!!!!!!!!!!!  12 pounds down!!!!!  I should be in the 260's by tomorrow so yay!  I am getting more and more nervous about surgery.  I think being in the medical field can make you even more nervous because you KNOW pretty much everything they're going to do to you.  I hope they give me some relaxy medicine in pre-op, cuz I'll probably be all worked up.

Anyway, I just woke up about an hour ago and it's all cloudy and drizzly outsite, booo!!  Mike had to go into work for about 4 hours so he won't be home until 10.  My ankle is still swollen and sore so no treadmill tonight and I'm kinda doubting it will be fixed by tomorrow either.  I wonder how much weight I could have lost if I was able to exercise this past week.  Oh well.  I'll get some exercise cleaning the house.

I'm wondering if theres any last minute things I need to buy.  I have Tylenol, heating pad, I'm ok in the food department I think.  I was going to get Gas-X but I read people saying their doctor said it's pointless and doesn't really help.  What do you guys think?

 *Don't forget to set your clocks forward tonight!!!*  Hurray for longer days!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So0o Dreamy

So I don't have much to report.  I'm still alive and doing great the past few days.  I haven't had anything but my 3 shakes per day.  Good girl!!  lol!  I'm down 9.3 pounds now.  I'm hoping to make it into the high 260's by my surgery day.  I only need to lose about 3 more pounds to acheive that, so I think I can do it. 

My ankle is getting better.  Still sore and I still walk with a limp, but at least I can walk.  This weekend I really want to get in some exercise.  We'll see.

The past few days, I've been having crazy dreams.  The night before last, I dreamt that my band surgeon, Dr. Price, completed my surgery.  But the kicker was...he ALSO cut out my ovaries and threw them in the TRASH!!!  I was back to work the next day and I found this out so I went to his office (I work in a hospital) and I said, "OMG you threw away my ovaries and didn't even save any of my eggs?!?!?!!!  Now I'll NEVER have kids of my own!"  He said, well you can use a donar egg and I said, "but the baby won't look like me if I do that!!!"  I was devastated :(  Thank God it was just a dream lol!  I'll be sure to let Dr. Price know to leave my ovaries alone when he goes in there haha!  In case you don't remember from my first blog post, one of the main reasons I'm having this done is in hopes to be able to conceive a baby.  We've tried for close to 2 years with no luck.  So I pray to God that when this weight comes off we'll get our little miracle.

My dreams last night were about my fellow bloggers, however I can't rememeber them.  Darn it!!  Don't you wish we could record our dreams and watch them later?  That would be pretty awesome lol!

Anyway, I better get back to work.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Hey guys!  Well, I don't have much to report other than my ankle is feeling a bit better.  I can hobble around now without any assistance so that's good.  No exercising though, which is a bummer.

Here is a pic of my lovely swollen ankle.  It looks like I have a major case of the cankles but I assure you it's the swelling lol!  I have a little bruise there too it looks like.  

 5 days left people!!  I'm sticking my nose to the grindstone and I'm gonna make it through this hell they call the pre-op diet.  It's my "time of the month" and so I've had a few slip ups with food (my uterus told me to do it!)  But I work the next 3 days (12 hours shifts) and I tend to do a lot better when I'm at work.  I'm occupied most of the time and I have many supporters there keeping a watchful eye on me lol!

Oh, I almost forgot.  I've lost 8.5 pounds so far!! :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

So much for exercise today...and maybe tomorrow :(

So I sprained my ankle on my way to the truck to go to the lake trail for our walk/bike thing.  I stepped wrong as I was going out the door and my ankle folded and I heard a big pop and I went down.  I immediately starting crying like a baby, but damn it hurt.  My husband came running and helped me into the house.  He got me to the couch and put my foot up and wrapped it in an ace bandage.  He put ice on it and got me ibuprofen.  He's such a good hubby.  It hurt terribly at first but I think my meds have kicked in and it's feeling better.  However, I just went to the bathroom and that was NOT FUN.  I can't bear any weight on it at all and even with Mike's help, it's very tough to hop all that way.  After a long struggle and a few more tears, I made it there and back.  This just sucks because it is such a nice day and now we just have to sit here.  I told Mike to go ahead and go without me, that I wanted him to enjoy the day, but he said no he's staying here with me.  I really hope it feels better by tomorrow.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Day 6

Today was a better day I suppose. We woke up and went for a walk.  I decided we should bring the dogs.  They don't get out for walks on the leash much so it was pretty much a disaster.  We ended up only going about a quarter of a mile.  But hey, it was better than nothing. 

Once we got home we began looking through my husband's P90X material.  In case you don't know what P90X is, it's a program developed to get you ripped in 90 days.  He plans on starting that after my surgery.  It includes eating plans and several DVDs.  While we were doing that, I remembered this booklet of info my nutritionist gave me.  I opened it up and to my relief, there were guidelines in there for post op eating.  I was worried about this because my doctor was so vague about how to eat right after surgery.  He didn't tell me much of anything.  So, here's what it says:

Days 1-2:  Clear Liquids (32-64oz per day).  Plus liquid protein supplements equaling at least 60 grams per day.

Days 3-4:  Add full liquids, low sodium tomato juice, thin cream soups and yogurt.

Days 5-6:  Add applesauce, pudding, smoothies and bananas.

Days 7-10:  Add mashed potatoes, cream of wheat, baby food, well cooked vegetables, beans and vegetable soup.  (No grits, rice, pasta or peanut butter)

Days 10-13:  Add baked potato, oatmeal, soft boiled and scrambled eggs, cottage cheese and canned pears.

After two weeks: Slowley add baked fish, tuna, whole wheat crackers, small amounts of rice, pasta, vegetables and whole grain cereal, granola bars, protein bars.

Week 6:  Add baked turkey, chicken and salads

Week 8: Add ground beef and gradually add roast beef, ham and sausage.  Slowly add fresh fruits.  Steak should be last.

Now, I know that's way different than a lot of yours and it seems to be a bit more speedy but I'm just glad I have SOMETHING to go by.  I can take it more slow if I need to.  Anyway, so I made a list according to what the book says I can have and went to the grocery store.  I bought applesauce and this delicious looking peach applesauce too (all no sugar added), pudding cups (all sorts of fabulous flavors, again, no sugar) and lots of cream soups.  I got cream of chicken, tomato, cream of broccoli, cheddar soup (which I'll add to the cream of broccoli) and I think thats all the soups.  I also got a pack of the yogurt drinks.  I totally forgot regular yogurt.  So all that should get me through the first couple of weeks. 

So, I have a confession to make.  I cheated today.  I am in PMS mode and my brain was screaming FEEEEED MEEEEE!  I literally couldn't go another second without food.  So I had a small piece of chicken breast and some green beans.  Also, I had a handful of wheat thins and some hummus.  I wish I wouldn't have, but my brain said i had to.  I couldn't stop myself.  I did however, take some of my carb blocking pills I have prior to eating my wheat thins.  Maybe that can counteract some of the damage a little bit.  :-P

Tomorrow, me, my husband and another couple are going to go up to this paved trail that surrounds a lake and get some exercise.  They're going to ride their bikes but I want to walk.  It's 4 miles.  So I'm sure they'll go around several times on their bikes but I just plan on walking around it once.  I'm not sure I've every walked 4 miles at one time before but I'm sure I can do it.  It'll be great.  Wish me luck!

I think I've lost it

Ok so it's 0535 and I'm about to be off work shortly.  I have to say that tonight has been one of the hardest nights so far.  It's been more about physical hunger tonight than head hunger.  I am starving!  I feel nauseous, like I could throw up at any second.  I'm tired, my head is foggy and I'm BITCHY!  I'm dreading the drive home.  I'm going STRAIGHT to bed when I get there and pray I wake up feeling much better.  I can't believe I have 9 more days of this!  OK, I'm done venting now.  Thank you for listening.

On the plus side, as of yesterday afternoon I've lost almost 6 pounds.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Still hangin in there

Hello everyone!  It's 2am and I'm at work.  Today (technically yesterday) I woke up and actually felt great.  I was in a good mood, not having any crazy head hunger attacks and I cleaned house and even did the treadmill for the 3rd day in a row.  I was down another half pound too!  I'm really suprised that my physical hunger hasn't been worse than it is.  I mean, I get hungery, but nothing crazy to where I feel sick or anything.  I thought for sure I'd have headaches and stuff, but so far so good.  Like I've said before though, head hunger is a bi*ch!  But as long as I keep myself occupied I'm ok.  I work again tomorrow night (technically tonight), then Saturday night we're supposed to go visit Mike's brother who lives about 45 mins away.  When he mentioned going over there I was like, "well I hope they aren't planning on having us over for dinner, because that would be TORTURE for me!"  So he's going to ask them if they'd like to go bowling or something.  So that should be fun.  Sunday it's supposed to be 60 degrees here (which is fantastic considering it's been like 20-30 for the past forever!)  so I'm hoping Mike and I can go outside to get some exercise.  I want to find a measured trail somewhere.  We have one right behind our house, but I'm not sure how long it is.  We'll have to check it out.  Anyhoo, I better get back to work :)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Po0o0o0o0or Me!

Ok can somebody PLEASE give me a logical explanation as to why I can't have chicken breast and broccoli at least once a day on this stupid pre-op diet????  (seriously, I want an explanation) I don't get it!  This is torture and I don't like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I think I am now going through withdraw.  I hope it gets better.  My stomach is hungry, but it's not terrible.  My head hunger is terrible.  I just want to EEEEAAATT!  Tonight my husband has to work so I'll be all alone here, just me, my rumbling tummy and my famished brain.  UGH! 

On a more positive note, the scale has moved down 4 pounds.  So that's good.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I survived

So I went to my pre-op appointment today.  I talked with the nurse a little bit about some basic "rules" of lapbandom.  Then I had some blood taken, ekg, chest x-ray and she took my measurements.  They took a before pic too.  Then I met with my surgeon.  He asked if I had any questions and I really didn't have too many.  I did ask him about the POST-op diet because the nurse was pretty vague about it.  Well, the doctor ended up being pretty vague too.  He said that for 2 weeks post surgery I'll need to be on liquids.  Full liquids.  He said nothing about mushies or how much I should eat at one time.  He just said that he'll place the band flat (no saline) and a couple days after surgery I'll feel like I can eat just like before.  He said I won't have any restriction.  He also said that some people say they feel restriction without saline but he thinks it might just be in their head lol!  So after two weeks, I'm supposed to come in for a check-up (April 1st to be exact)  and he'll probably give me a fill then.  Did you hear that?  TWO WEEKS!!  That's sweet!  That would mean less time in bandster hell!  He said with the first fill he does 2-4cc's.  I hope he goes with 4, why drag this out?  lol!  He then said he'll do more fills every 2-4 weeks as needed.  So I was pretty happy when I left.

edit* I wanted to add that I'm so glad to have all of you people because without you I think I'd be so lost considering my dr is so darn vague.  So thank you and I'm glad that I know, because of all of you, how things should be done.

After the appointment I had to meet my husband at his sisters for another family gathering.  They had the graveside services today for his mom (which I couldn't attend due to my appt.)  When I arrived, there was food galore!  It was pretty much torture.  But I didn't cheat one bit.  Oh my Lord it was HARD!  Delicious food as far as the eye could see!  I just had a protein shake and a bottle of water.  We just got home and I made some chicken broth and I have to say, it was the best damn broth I've ever had!  I might have some jello next.  Anyway, I guess that's all for now.  Goodnight...

 *oh, I wanted to add, thank you guys so much for all your great comments.  You make me feel so good.  You're support is greatly appreciated :)*

The ugly truth


Ok, so here are some more standard (and very unflattering) pics.  Excuse the bed head.  I took some in my bra and these pants to show off my gorgeous tummy and I also took some with a tank top.  However I couldn't bring myself to post either one of them out of pure shame.  Oh they are so bad.  Mainly my arms.   From the back they look like they belong to someone much bigger than me.  I was shocked!  So, until I have a MUCH better picture to post in comparison, those pics will stay hidden away.  

Well, yesterday was the first day of my pre-op diet.  I started at midnight, March 1st.  Around 9pm ( 21 hours after starting) I ate.  I think I have a pretty good excuse though.  My mother in law's funeral was last night, and afterward we all went to dinner together.  A stressful, sad day like that makes it hard.  I only had the one meal and I don't plan on eating anymore.  So far this morning i've had a bottle of water.  My stomach is rumbling so I think I'll fix a protein shake and then hit the treadmill.  My "before" pics were pretty motivating for me.  I need to blow them up and post them on the fridge!  lol!

Alright, now that that confession is out of the way I think I'll hit the shower and get ready for my pre-op appointment. (after the treadmill of coarse!)

Monday, March 1, 2010

It is what it is

Well people, the time has come to post the dreaded "before pictures" Dun dun DUNNNNNN!!!
Here's my head...
Here's my front...
Heres my incredibly HUGE BACK! (There are so many things I hate about this pic)

I also took measurements, which I know are boring to read but I'd like to post them for my reference.

Belly- 53"
High waist- 43"
Bust- 49 1/2"
Right arm- 17 1/2"
Left arm- 18"
Right thigh- 34 1/2"
Left thigh- 33 1/2"
Right calf- 18 1/4"
Left calf- 18 1/2"
Right forearm-12 3/4"
Left forearm- 12 1/4"
Neck-15 1/2" 

Official start weight......  282.5!! 

More boring stuff... 40.6% water, 7.8% bone, BMI 47, 125 lbs fat, 44.3% fat.  

Well, it's been a long day.  Mike's mom's funeral was tonight.  I go to my pre-op doctors appointment tomorrow at 1:30pm so I'll be sure to get on and tell you what they say.  I'll probably post some more "standard" type "before" pics.  Goodnight all.