I'm Super Tight (note: don't say that too loud in public, you'll get weird looks)

Hey guys! So I just got back from the doctors office, getting my 3rd fill. I had restriction prior, but I could still eat a good amount of food and stuff so when he asked me how much I wanted, I wasn't sure whether I should go with a half cc or a full cc. I asked his opinion and he basically said, "I don't know, it's whatever you want" So we went with the full cc. I'm a little nervous about it. I hope I'm not too tight. You guys will have to tell me what you think. When I take a drink, I feel a little pressure, then an air bubble comes up and I feel better. I burped a few times and the tiniest bits of water came back up with it (hasn't happened for a few hours now) Do you think I'm too tight or is it pretty normal to feel weird like this right after? I'm a worry wart and my doctor flat out told me he won't drive back in to unfill me tonight (not that I would expect him to) But he said I could come back in the morning if I had to. Im at 5.5ccss now. I'm excited that I might be at my sweet spot on so little fluid. We'll see. I'm gonna do all liquids tonight (like I'm supposed to) because I'm scared to even try anything. I don't know why I feel terrified, I've PB'd before but I guess it's just the new level of tightness that I'm not used to and it makes me nervous. I'm sure it'll be just fine.

And a sad, crappy note.. I won't be joining you all in the Chicago trip due to a mandatory class at work I must attend. :(

Can someone tell me about these gadgets that you wear that tell you about calories burned and whatnot. How do they work, DO they work, which would you recommend, how much are they?? TIA!

This cracked me up! Thought I'd share.

Late Night Blab

I was reading a blog that I am newly following (stardusticsjourney.blogspot.com) and she had a very interesting article on there about "starvation mode" I'll have to admit, I thought it existed. I've been eating about 1200 calories a day and I'm not really losing much weight. I thought cutting out any more calories would make it worse, but after reading that, I'm thinking that's what I need to do. So starting tomorrow, I think I'm going to cut it back to 1000/day. At least until I get a regular exercise regimen going. We'll see how it goes. I think my next fill is going to be May 5th or May 14th. I haven't decided yet. I'll decide by Monday and give them a call. That should help too. I'm doing much better with this 2nd fill compared to the first one but I think I can still eat more that I should. Like for instance, tonight, Mike brought home a thin crust chicken, spinich and artichoke pizza (We hadn't ate all day, and I hadn't felt good, so we wanted something easy). I was able to eat 2 pieces and probably could have ate 3 if I wanted to, but didn't. When you're at your sweet spot, should you be able to do that?? I'm thinking I just need a 1/2cc or so more. I do have to say I'm getting a lot more used to band life. At first, it seemed that I was somewhat resistant. What I mean is, I didn't want to take the bun off my burgers and the thought of not being able to eat EVERYTHING on my plate, or finish that last bite made me irritable. But now, my brain has finally wrapped around it all and everyday gets easier. It's becoming routine. I'm glad. :)

Look what I can do!

Check out my new siggy! YAY! Thanks Gilly!

Today was a total bust

Last night, I made my hubby a cake.  Right after I got it out of the oven I got really tired and just wanted to go to bed.  (without a piece of cake first!) and as soon as I got in bed, I started getting the chills.  The, "I can't get warm no matter what", chills.  I took my temp and I had a fever.  The fever lasted all night long. I woke up today feeling much better.  I slept for 14 hours! (Whhaat??)  No fever today.  I wonder what that was all about?  Anybody ever have a random fever for no damn reason? 

Well, that "random" fever totally ruined all my plans for the day.  I was supposed to do the MS walk, go to the brew fest and go to my friends birthday bbq.  Missed it all.  :(  Anyway, I'm hoping the fever stays away and I can enjoy the next two days I have off.  I drank a couple of those airborne tablet things in hopes to ward off any impending sickness.

So I decided to ask my mom to go to Chicago.  I thought about it long and hard and I don't believe I'm bringing her so that I can hide behind her.  That's just not me.  I'm bringing her because she's one of my best friends and I think this trip is going to be so much fun with so many good people that I want to share it with her.  I think it will be a great bonding experience and very memorable.

Anyways... Can somebody tell me how to get one of those cool signatures to sign all my posts with?  I like the ones that actually look like handwriting.  TIA!

BYOC! <----I just found out what that stood for lol! I've been so confused!

1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.

I watch Lock Up and I agree with Drazel, working anywhere in a prison would not be something I'd ever want to do. Kudos to your hubby. Also, I'd never want to be a nurses aide. I work closely with many of them and they have to deal with a lot of CRAP, literally. Kudos to them too!

2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?

My sweet little pom pom, Mocha!

3. What do you hide behind?

I've never admitted this before, but I hide behind the fact that I have PCOS. Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I've always blamed my weight on this, my moods on this, my inability to get pregnant on this... In reality, it DOES play a HUGE part in all of these things. BUT, I didn't help the situation by eating the wrong things and not being active enough. I didn't help the situation by letting my hormones ruin my day or letting all of the negative pregnancy test make me feel like a failure. I have to power to change and choose to be happy and make the most of things. I can't let a a 4 letter acronym run my life anymore.

4. Where were you born?

Kansas City, Missouri

5. Which comment affected you the most this week.

Well, I know this may sound stupid, but Drazel commented on my blog asking if I was going to Chicago and that I should totally come. I know we didn't need a personal invitation but it felt good to have someone care if I was there or not. Thanks Draz!


*Isn't it amazing how honest we are in our blogs? It's great that we can all be so open and feel comfortable in doing so. If only in "real life" we could all be so free*

Onto a different note...is anyone bringing anyone with them to Chicago? Like a friend from home? I was thinking of asking my mom to come. We've never had a mother/daughter trip and she's battled with her weight as well. She's super fun!! Would that be weird if she came? I doubt she'll be able to but I'd like to ask. What do you think? Give me honest answers, I don't want to mess anything up.

Our MS walk is tomorrow. I wish we would have known about it sooner so we could have fund raised a little bit. Registration for this thing is so confusing. Not to mention the donation part. It's crazy confusing. I think we're just going to show up tomorrow and say, "we want to walk today, here's our donation, what do we need to fill out" I doubt they'll turn us away. It's supposed to rain. I hope it doesn't.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Under Construction!

Excuse the mess, I'm trying to find a new look for my blog :)

~Chicago~

So, I slacked off on blog reading for like a week, and when I came back there's all this Chicago talk. Draz asked if I was going and I started to think about it. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I've always been a bit shy. Now, don't get me wrong, I open up and then there's no stopping me lol! But I've always let that initial shyness/fear hold me back. I think a ton of it has to do with me being overweight my whole life. It started as a kid and has followed me into adulthood. But anyway, I think that this would be a great opportunity to do something out of my comfort zone and just go for it! If not now, WHEN?? So, I think I'm gonna come! I'm totally out of the loop so I'm gonna need to do some reading to get the when, where and what's. It's so easy to get behind in blog land when you miss a few days lol!

OMG, I'm getting ExCiTed!!

I finally broke

my 261 plateau! I weighed 259 the last two days, bringing my total weightloss to 23.1 lbs. Yay! However, I probably just ruined that tonight. I finished off my day at 1658 calories. Boooooo! What got me was the Dunkin Donuts someone brought in. I tried to resist. I truley did, but then I got tired and bored and I began hearing the call of the beast. "Eaaaaat meeeeee" they called from the breakroom. Nasty little devils. I ended up eating 2. Yes 2! Why couldn't I have stopped at 1? I don't know. So after I ate them, I went to my calorie counter and learned the extent of the damage. 700 Calories for those 2 donuts. Yep, 700. Anyway, all I can do is move on.

Saturday morning, Mike and I will be participating in a walk for MS. We learned that it happens to be starting right across the street from our house. How conveinient. I'm not sure how long it is, but I read on their website that they typically have a short and a long walk. The short is 2-4 miles and the long is 4-6 miles. I don't know which one we'll do, but I'm thinking 4-6 miles is a little much for me at this point. I'm a little disappointed that I won't be getting a t-shirt to remember this walk by but you have to donate $100 to get one. Isn't that crazy? I plan on donating, but not quite $100.

Saturday afternoon, we are going to a beer fest, lol! I've never been to such a thing, but I thought it would be fun. My husband likes weird, dark beers so we're gonna check it out. I guess you pay about $10 to get in, and they give you a cup and you go around sampling all kinds of beers from around the world. Like a wine tasting, but with a little redneck added lol!

So, I'm still struggling to get a structured exercise regiman going but a few days ago Mike and I took the dogs on a 1.5 mile walk around our neighborhood. I got this really cool app on my phone that tracks you via GPS and tells you how far you've gone, how many mins you've walked and how many calories you've burned. It even tracks your path on a google map. It's awesome. Technology these days.

I started to get my summer tan on. Being tan makes me feel thinner, isn't that weird. I guess it just tones down those glaring white fat rolls, lmao! Brown fat rolls are much more soothing :P

That's all for now, I'll try and take some pics of this weekend's festivities. Ciao!

2nd Fill

Hey guys! Well I had my 2nd fill yesterday. There was no student this time but it wasn't any better. The doctor had troubles. OMG it hurt sooooo bad!! Took 4 pokes or so and a lot of prodding. I was so glad when it was over. He gave me 1.5 ccs. So now I have a total of 4.5ccs. All yesterday was liquids/mushies so I was eager to "try out" my fill today. We went to Bob Evans. We decided to share a turkey wrap. I was able to slo0o0ly eat almost my whole half (it was very loosely stuffed). I was satisfied. :) Then, about 3.5 hours later, I was starving. So when we got home from shopping, I heated up some chili I made the other day. I made myself about 1 cup. I got most of it down, but took about 2 bites too much I guess, cuz I was stuck. Blahhhhhh! I pb'd like 5 times. Nothing violent but annoying none the less. The first few times it was actually food, the other times it was just saliva I guess (but thicker, sorry tmi) It's different because I don't actually feel totally FULL before the pressure in my chest starts. I could feel it a little bit when I was eating my turkey wrap but I knew I didn't feel FULL yet. I just wasn't hungry anymore. I started to feel a little chest pressure so I took that as time to stop. I guess I've always ate till my stomach felt like it was gonna pop and that's just not whats supposed to happen anymore. Anyway, this is definitely a learning process. I know now that when I feel a little chest pressure, better stop. Something else I've noticed with this fill is that when I eat, it seems like with every bite, little air bubbles come up. Like, food goes down, air comes up. Weird. But I'm happy. I actually feel like I might get somewhere with this fill. It's exciting.

Anyway, Mike and I went on a big shopping spree today. The fan in our bedroom died so we had to buy a new one. We've been wanting a fan in our livingroom for awhile, so we bought one for it too. We're currently trying to put it up...but of coarse, we're running into problems. Mike's off to the hardware store for the second time already. We also bought a carpet cleaner (dogs can be so messy), took us 3 different Wal-Marts to find the right one. Then we bought paint to do our bathroom, along with the rugs and towels. We own a 100 year old farm house and completely remodeled it (basically built a new house within a old house, not a fun project, never will do that again!). We still have lots to do, and painting is a big one on the list. If I had the energy, I'd load some house before and after pics for you, but I don't. Some other time. I picked a seafoam blue color. The original one I liked wouldn't work for the type of paint Mike wanted. So I had to compromise with one close, but a little lighter. Hope it doesn't look stupid. We had to buy this special paint with no VOC's (I don't know what that is) but they're bad for you. I guess paint can leak chemicals into your house for up to 6 years and Mike wants a "healthy house". So alright then, healthy paint it is. I saw this commercial for this painter's tape called Frogger. It's supposed to be awesome and make super crisp lines (no bleeding). Cost me $8 for one roll! CrAzY! So that will be on the list of things to do tomorrow. Mike has to work tomorrow night so it'll be a good project for me to do. Well, I've rambled long enough. TTYL :)

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm...

Quick question. How many calories do you aim to comsume on a daily basis? I've used those calculators online but it tells me I should eat at least 2080 (based on my current weight/age/height) for "extreme weight loss". Does that sound right? It sounds like a lot if you're wanting to loose weight. I also read that consuming less than 1500 is not good for you. I've been aiming for 1200 but now I'm thinking I should up it a little bit. What do you guys think?? I'm not really loosing much as of right now. I've been getting 1200-1500 cals a day which is way less than pre band but I've just been juggling the same 4 pounds since surgery. I'm between 265 and 261. So, since surgery, almost a month ago, I've only lost between 3-7 pounds. I'm not frustrated YET. I'm excited for my fill on Wednesday! So tell me your daily calorie goal..

Random Picture Day!

Hello all! I don't really have anything important to say really, but thought I'd drop a line. I haven't exercised in the past few days cuz I'm LAME! I have been keeping track of my food intake so that's a plus. I work all this weekend so I won't have time for much over the next three days. I work 3 12's in a row so once I get off work and get home I have about 8 hours till I have to get up and do it all over again. Next week I have off Monday, Tuesday and then have a four day weekend! Woohoo! I get my fill Wednesday. I'm excited about that. My port burning sensation or PBS as I like to call it (lol jk) has improved. Haven't felt the burn since Tuesday. YAY!

So, since I bored you with the last paragraph, I thought I'd entertain you with some random pictures!!

This is my house

Another spring storm rollin in

My doggies

My miracle kitty, Bella and me.

Our chicks

Look how they've grown in just a few weeks!

Playing with a few chicks yesterday. Not a good idea to let them on our carpet, the two of them pooped 2 times each in the 5 mins we had them in the livingroom. Little shits!!

Me and my BFF "working hard"

My awesome new water bottle! That little spout, is a straw! Luv it!

And for the grand finale......drum ro0o0o0o0o0oll....


My sweet and sour chicken from a local place here in KC (pre-band)


Have a great weekend!

I'm wearin my happy pants!

The past few days have been great!  Monday, Mike and I went to the gym.  I did 25 mins on the eliptical and then we walked a few laps around the little gym track.  We then went swimming for a bit and topped it off with a little hot tubbing. 

I've been tracking my food with an app on my phone.  I have Android technology on my cell phone and the app is called Calorie Counter.  It's pretty cool.  It even has a barcode scanner, where I can scan the barcode of the food I'm eating and it will input it right into my food diary.  Very handy.  I also have an iTouch and I used to use the app called Tap n Track.  I like that one better but it doesn't have the bar code scanner. 

Today, I did tons of house work and then did 20 mins on my treadmill.  Mike started P90X today.  It kicked his butt. I want to do some of the workouts with him.  Maybe tomorrow.  Mike's blog  <----here's a link to his blog.  Check it out!  He needs some blog buddies too!

I weighed in today, I'm down 20 pounds!  :-)  My 2nd fill is scheduled for next Wednesday (4/14/10). 

The weather has been pretty stormy lately.  Spring is coming in like a lion, but hey, at least it's comin in!! 


Does anybody take frozen dinners to work for your lunch??  I do.  I recently discovered Kashi's frozen dinners.  They are a little more pricey than the Smart Ones I usually get, but they are totally worth it.  Each entray has almost 20 grams of protein.  20 grams!!  Also, they're packed with fiber and whole grains.  Sounds like the perfect bandster food to me!  I'm currently enjoying


Ok so that came out huge, but I don't have the energy to fix it.  Well, better get back to work.  6 hours left, then it's 2 more days off with the hubs.  YAY!

Knock knock! Who's There? BAND

My band made it's first appearance yesterday.  We went out to eat with my bff (who I'm happy to say is back in my life :)  We went to 54th street.  I got a toasted turkey sandwich with fries.  I had 1/4 of the sandwich (a half of a half) and a few fries.  I was full everything was fine.  Later that night, I decided to reheat my food.  I was not paying attention and I ate a couple of fries rather quickly then a bit of my sandwich (all of this was pretty dried out. you know how reheated food gets.)  I suddenly felt that something wasn't right.  It wasn't painful, but there was pressure.  Like I had a HUGE burp that needed to come out but couldn't.  I started pacing around...then went in the bathroom.  I felt the need to spit a lot, like I couldn't swallow it.  I then pb'd a little bit.  It was nothing terrible...it was exactly that, a productive burp. It wasn't like throwing up at all.  I did not feel relief from it.  My husband was outside, so I went out there and paced around and stretched my arms up and stuff.  It eventually passed.  I wouldn't say it was a horrifying experience as I know they can be way worse.  But it was an eye opener and a nice "hello" from my band lol.  At least I know it's there now :P  We went to my grandma's today for Easter and I was able to eat a 2x2 piece of lasagna, a small spinach salad, and a few noodles of pasta salad.  I had a piece of garlic bread but only ate a small bite and gave it away.  About an hour later I had some dessert too.  I can tell I get full faster now, but I don't stay full for long.  Tomorrow, Mike and I are hitting the gym.  I'm officially going to start exercising this week.  Oh ya, I wanted to ask you guys.  Since my fill, I can tell exactly where my port is (the area) where as before I wasn't sure where exactly it was.  The reason I know, is because it burns periodically.  I never had this before the fill.  I makes me worry (I'm a worrier) that the doctor dislodged it or something.  He was so aggressive when he was looking for it.  Really digging around.  I guess if he would have ripped the stitches out in there, I probably would have felt pain.  It was really only discomfort that I felt.

Anyway, we had a major storm the other day.  It only last for a few minutes I guess (I was asleep with earplugs, didn't hear a thing).  I walked outside to leave for a hair appointment and this is what I saw...





Our grill was on it's head too.  Broke the damn knob off.  Arg!!  We're under another tornado watch now.  It's starting to look a bit ugly outside.  I just hope it doesn't hail or that another tree limb doesn't fall.  Especially not on our house.

Happy Easter Everyone!  Oh speaking of Easter, I came downstairs this morning to find Mike's stupid dog had eaten all the Easter chocolate out of the candy bowl.  Foil and ALL!!!  What an idiot.  That was almost 12 hours ago and she's fine so far.  Let's hope it stays that way.  I guess it's good that it's gone now and I can't eat any LOL!

...

I think this horrible period I'm having is causing me to be highly irritable. Not fun. Hopefully it is over soon so I can get back to myself. Also I wanted to note that my posts may seem irrational at times but this is a place for me to put my inner most thoughts no matter how stupid or whiny. I know this process takes time, i know all of this. I also know its not magic but this is my place to vent so when I feel like pouting i'll come here. So anyway, I just got my hair cut and I have the next 4 days off so I'm pretty excited about that :)

Hungry Hungry Hippo!

Ok, so I know I just got this fill but I can tell that I'm going to feel NO restriction from it.  I know my body and I just know I feel nothing.  Matter a fact, I'm STARVING.  I even ate a PB&J earlier with no problem and was hungry again an hour later.  I pretty much didn't expect my first fill to do anything for me...but it's still kind of disappointing.  My doctor said I can come back in 2-4 weeks for a second fill.  I'd like to call tomorrow and make my two week appointment but I know they'd be like, WTH?  You just got one YESTERDAY!  I don't want to wait until two weeks, THEN call cuz what if they can't get me in for awhile.  I think I'll just wait for the weekend to pass and call them Monday.  Wonder how aggresive he'll be with my 2nd one.  I want 3 more.  Cuz I feel nothing.  But I doubt he'll give that much.  I really hope I'm not one of those people that requires a ton of fluid.  That would suck.  Can everybody tell me how many cc's you had where you felt it was your sweet spot?? My doctor says he rarely sees people with double digits.  He said 5-9cc is the most common.  I know patience is a virtue....BUT I DON'T LIKE PATIENCE!!  ;-P

Poke Poke Poke

Alright so I survived my fill.  The doctor walked in and following him was a student.  I laid down and the student doctor began to put gloves on and stuff.  I looked up at my docter and said, "is he doing it?" and he said yes.  OMG!  I was already freaked out but now I was scared to death!  My hands were sweating and I was gripping the sides of the table.  My doctor picked up my hand and held it while student boy proceeded to stick me 3 to 4 times.  It didn't really hurt all that much.  My skin around my incision is kind of numb still from surgery so that helped.  He didn't end up getting the job done, so my doctor gloved up and stuck me.  He was a lot more aggressive in feeling around while the needle was in and it felt super weird.  Like I had plastic toys in my belly clanking around.  It was crazy but he got it with that one stick.  He gave me 3 cc's.  I got up and I sipped on some water.  No problems.  I'm supposed to be on liquids for a day or two.  I'm sick of my protein powder so I bought some Atkins shakes.  I also got a few Cambell's Soup at Hand.  Creamy chicken and tomato.  I have to work tonight so I figured that would be the easiest thing.  I felt hungry when I got home so I had a shake.  I was kind of disappointed that I was already hungry.  But I know this is a process and its going to take time to get it right.  I shouldn't take that as a sign that I'm not going to feel anything from this 3 cc's.  My stomach is empty and so is my little pouch...so why wouldn't I feel hungry right??  Anyway, my doctor said I can come back in 2 weeks if I need to.